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Forced Marriages – A Shame on Some Sikhs
The issue of marriage is complex and has as many circumstances as there are combinations of people in the world. Recently, a langa(r)eader wrote:
Hi I as just wonderingif you are familiar at all with a sikh girl marrying a non sikh guy who is caucasian. Her parents banished her forever about 7 years ago and then finally contacted about 2 years ago but are still hung up on the fact. Just wondering what we can do to help them get over this faster. [received email]
Well I can’t make the parents ‘get over this faster’, but I can raise some observations and thoughts on marriage.
On the issue of interfaith or interracial marriages, I am pretty laissez-faire. I resent guys that believe they have ‘ownership’ of women from their community. Live and let live. Find who is best for you. The world is already complex enough. Find a partner that helps you grow emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, etc. I do believe that there are certain benefits of marrying another Sikh – especially in religious growth. However, each individual circumstance is different and your partner may help you grow in those other aspects. More power to you.
What I am completely against is so-called ‘forced marriages.’ The issue is hardly new, but a recent interview on BBC’s HARDtalk has recently brought the issue to prominence again in the UK. For those that are regular Langa(r)eaders, I have written about Jasvinder Sanghera before:
the founder of Karma Nirvana, “[an organization] with a view to create support project for women who experienced language & cultural barriers.” I have read Sanghera’s memoirs and although her particular story of her parents’ attempt to force her into a marriage and the consequences she experienced is more extreme than most cases, still it echoes the larger problems of “forced marriage” in our community and differences may only vary in degree.
Karma Nirvana, while focused on women, does offer support to men and even employs a man to head the men’s aid project, who himself was forced into a marriage.
Documenting her own story in her autobiography Shame, Jasvinder Sanghera has become a tireless advocate through her group Karma Nirvana to push for help against both men and women that are trapped in forced marriage situations.
The show’s host, at times, attempts to ask ‘hard’ questions that seemed really ridiculous. At times the old British v. Asian divide is exaggerated, as if many don’t have hybrid identities. Or the host’s line of questions that Sanghera’s work has the possibility of painting all South-Asian marriages in such a light. Although to be fair to the host, he may have just been following the logic of a common refrain by her detractors, still even if these are valid, it requires community self-reflection.
I always find it annoying when governments, some media groups, and institutions feign sensitivity to Sikhi or Islam, yet they support human rights violations and atrocities and often discrimination against Sikhs or Muslims. Also if Sikhs and Muslims claim they are offended by the wonderful work of brave individuals such as Jasvinder Sanghera, then I need to ask why we have such skewed standards when the brave seva of members of our own community is more offensive than the perpetrators of this violence.
As Sanghera mentions at the end of the conversation, I, too, hope that others groups in other lands – US, Canada, Punjab, India, and beyond – also take up the challenge to end the practice of ‘forced marriages.’
Logging you in...
I pity the SIKH BOYS .
30 % of the girls their parents Kill before she is born.
20 % run away with some one else.
They wil have to be really innovative to find a life partners for themselves.
Any suggestions ?
30 % of the girls their parents Kill before she is born.
20 % run away with some one else.
They wil have to be really innovative to find a life partners for themselves.
Any suggestions ?
why u guys making your own community down. you know langar hall website is now one of the most visible portal of community???? and when you generalize it , makes the worse
@Harinder, to add to your post:
- Too many Punjabi boys don't know how to treat punjabi girls well.
Sincerely,
Punjabi Boy
- Too many Punjabi boys don't know how to treat punjabi girls well.
Sincerely,
Punjabi Boy
I seek brides for our boys ;
Any constructive suggestion will be welcomed.
Any constructive suggestion will be welcomed.
I don’t know why thelangarhall.com has decided to allow this article on this site.
What does this have to do with Sikhism? Other than give us a black eye, pretty soon the article will be picked up by those punjabi Sikh bashing gianis at Sikhnet, then
the nationalistic Indian candirus will get a taste of it and go places where we wouldn’t expect.
If a spouse can want a divorce for feeling betrayed by their significant other for doing things out of character then parents who feel betrayed by their kids have a right to react.
Doesn’t matter what part of the world the parents are from or what religion they believe, if any at all.
What’s really sad is that articles like this create a rift between Sikh sisters and their brothers, and it seems to be written by someone that doesn’t even know what it is to be a
Sikh in the first place.
Way to go thelangarhall.
What does this have to do with Sikhism? Other than give us a black eye, pretty soon the article will be picked up by those punjabi Sikh bashing gianis at Sikhnet, then
the nationalistic Indian candirus will get a taste of it and go places where we wouldn’t expect.
If a spouse can want a divorce for feeling betrayed by their significant other for doing things out of character then parents who feel betrayed by their kids have a right to react.
Doesn’t matter what part of the world the parents are from or what religion they believe, if any at all.
What’s really sad is that articles like this create a rift between Sikh sisters and their brothers, and it seems to be written by someone that doesn’t even know what it is to be a
Sikh in the first place.
Way to go thelangarhall.
I don't understand why some readers are put off by this article in particular. Forced marriage is a pan-India syndrome. It speaks to the strength of our community to be able to put these issues on the table for discussion. We have discussed equally nefarious topics on this site that are concentrated problems of the Sikhs: female infanticide, foeticide, caste-ism, In some ways forced marriage seems small in comparison to the brides of NRIs waiting years and years for their husbands who they will never hear from, unless his parents come asking for more dowry.
The only way to strengthen our community is to discuss these issues and let voices be heard. If you're looking for a more sugar-coated world, there are other sites to find it on.
The only way to strengthen our community is to discuss these issues and let voices be heard. If you're looking for a more sugar-coated world, there are other sites to find it on.
You want to discuss indian issues no problem.
Discuss the over 12 million cases of A.I.D.S in india, and the affects that they have on all indians, particularly the innocent house wives. That doesn't take into account the tip of the iceberg for all the venereal diseases that are being spread amongst the most wealthy of indians.
Discuss all the children under 8 years of age that are employed doing hard labour, and then the little girls that are raped by the rich and wealthy in india. Forced into a life of prostitution, and stigmatized for their natural life.
Discuss all the next generation of indian kids, who have an education, and no longer believe in the hocus pocus of the past. Do you think keeping them ignorant with stories of how the low caste serves the high will still work?
Compare that to this article..Where kids are suprising the
parents with the lifestyle they've picked up.
If amar is getting it on with barbie who cares?
If anamika is getting it on with ken who cares?
If they are all in a love rectangle who cares?
The person who needs a talk show probably cares.
Do you even think these people care about Sikhism, if
they've already bypassed their parents?
Discuss the over 12 million cases of A.I.D.S in india, and the affects that they have on all indians, particularly the innocent house wives. That doesn't take into account the tip of the iceberg for all the venereal diseases that are being spread amongst the most wealthy of indians.
Discuss all the children under 8 years of age that are employed doing hard labour, and then the little girls that are raped by the rich and wealthy in india. Forced into a life of prostitution, and stigmatized for their natural life.
Discuss all the next generation of indian kids, who have an education, and no longer believe in the hocus pocus of the past. Do you think keeping them ignorant with stories of how the low caste serves the high will still work?
Compare that to this article..Where kids are suprising the
parents with the lifestyle they've picked up.
If amar is getting it on with barbie who cares?
If anamika is getting it on with ken who cares?
If they are all in a love rectangle who cares?
The person who needs a talk show probably cares.
Do you even think these people care about Sikhism, if
they've already bypassed their parents?
I pity the SIKH BOYS .
30 % of the girls their parents Kill before she is born.
20 % run away with some one else.
They wil have to be really innovative to find a life partners for themselves.
Any suggestions ?
30 % of the girls their parents Kill before she is born.
20 % run away with some one else.
They wil have to be really innovative to find a life partners for themselves.
Any suggestions ?
why u guys making your own community down. you know langar hall website is now one of the most visible portal of community???? and when you generalize it , makes the worse
@Harinder, to add to your post:
- Too many Punjabi boys don't know how to treat punjabi girls well.
Sincerely,
Punjabi Boy
- Too many Punjabi boys don't know how to treat punjabi girls well.
Sincerely,
Punjabi Boy
I did not make the claim that I am interested in discussing Indian problems. You wrote that you are angered by a discussion of a problem that would be 'picked up' by other groups to further blacken the eye of the Sikh community. I simply pointed out that the problem extends beyond ours and that it is important to note that we at least are talking about it.
I'm unclear on how you think that not agreeing to a forced marriage is first 'bypassing' one's parents and secondly implicates a person to not care about Sikhism. A lot of parents would want their daughters to get rid of a baby if it is a girl. If the daughter disagrees, and 'bypasses' her parents, is she wrong? What is at stake in this situation in particular is that many individuals in our community believe that a Punjabi Sikh should marry a Punjabi Sikh (often of their parents' choosing), and force their children to follow the belief. This is what is up for discussion. The article also points to the insensitivity of the western media when attempting to be 'culturally appropriate.' Perhaps you could carefully read the article and then comment on it rather than lambasting the author for attempting to discuss problem that is prevalent in the community.
I'm unclear on how you think that not agreeing to a forced marriage is first 'bypassing' one's parents and secondly implicates a person to not care about Sikhism. A lot of parents would want their daughters to get rid of a baby if it is a girl. If the daughter disagrees, and 'bypasses' her parents, is she wrong? What is at stake in this situation in particular is that many individuals in our community believe that a Punjabi Sikh should marry a Punjabi Sikh (often of their parents' choosing), and force their children to follow the belief. This is what is up for discussion. The article also points to the insensitivity of the western media when attempting to be 'culturally appropriate.' Perhaps you could carefully read the article and then comment on it rather than lambasting the author for attempting to discuss problem that is prevalent in the community.
I don’t know why thelangarhall.com has decided to allow this article on this site.
What does this have to do with Sikhism? Other than give us a black eye, pretty soon the article will be picked up by those punjabi Sikh bashing gianis at Sikhnet, then
the nationalistic Indian candirus will get a taste of it and go places where we wouldn’t expect.
If a spouse can want a divorce for feeling betrayed by their significant other for doing things out of character then parents who feel betrayed by their kids have a right to react.
Doesn’t matter what part of the world the parents are from or what religion they believe, if any at all.
What’s really sad is that articles like this create a rift between Sikh sisters and their brothers, and it seems to be written by someone that doesn’t even know what it is to be a
Sikh in the first place.
Way to go thelangarhall.
What does this have to do with Sikhism? Other than give us a black eye, pretty soon the article will be picked up by those punjabi Sikh bashing gianis at Sikhnet, then
the nationalistic Indian candirus will get a taste of it and go places where we wouldn’t expect.
If a spouse can want a divorce for feeling betrayed by their significant other for doing things out of character then parents who feel betrayed by their kids have a right to react.
Doesn’t matter what part of the world the parents are from or what religion they believe, if any at all.
What’s really sad is that articles like this create a rift between Sikh sisters and their brothers, and it seems to be written by someone that doesn’t even know what it is to be a
Sikh in the first place.
Way to go thelangarhall.
I don't understand why some readers are put off by this article in particular. Forced marriage is a pan-India syndrome. It speaks to the strength of our community to be able to put these issues on the table for discussion. We have discussed equally nefarious topics on this site that are concentrated problems of the Sikhs: female infanticide, foeticide, caste-ism, In some ways forced marriage seems small in comparison to the brides of NRIs waiting years and years for their husbands who they will never hear from, unless his parents come asking for more dowry.
The only way to strengthen our community is to discuss these issues and let voices be heard. If you're looking for a more sugar-coated world, there are other sites to find it on.
The only way to strengthen our community is to discuss these issues and let voices be heard. If you're looking for a more sugar-coated world, there are other sites to find it on.
Yes, it’s noted that you don’t want to discuss Indian problems in the same manner you want to sensationalize this issue, perhaps you cant bear the shame.
Neither you nor the author should be penning this problem on Sikhism. Parents, that are practicing feticide of female babies are not doing so with the blessing of Sikhism, in fact its specifically against Sikhism.
I’m sure you and the author realize that but only as a matter of inconvenience, as neither one of you pointed that out.
Sikhism points out that a Sikh should marry a Sikh. If you don’t want to marry a Sikh, then why keep calling this a Sikh issue? It’s a personal belief issue at that point between you and your family.
To date, I don’t know of anyone ever getting a ‘forced marriage’, I doubt too many others have either. Arranged marriage I’ve heard of, but that is a far cry from ‘forced marriage’.
Now sati, ‘forced wife burning’ I’ve heard of being practiced especially amongst upper caste hindus, the wife would be burned to death when the husband died.
That was the Real Shame.
Of course Sikhism was at the forefront to extinguish that practice because it harmed innocent women.
Neither you nor the author should be penning this problem on Sikhism. Parents, that are practicing feticide of female babies are not doing so with the blessing of Sikhism, in fact its specifically against Sikhism.
I’m sure you and the author realize that but only as a matter of inconvenience, as neither one of you pointed that out.
Sikhism points out that a Sikh should marry a Sikh. If you don’t want to marry a Sikh, then why keep calling this a Sikh issue? It’s a personal belief issue at that point between you and your family.
To date, I don’t know of anyone ever getting a ‘forced marriage’, I doubt too many others have either. Arranged marriage I’ve heard of, but that is a far cry from ‘forced marriage’.
Now sati, ‘forced wife burning’ I’ve heard of being practiced especially amongst upper caste hindus, the wife would be burned to death when the husband died.
That was the Real Shame.
Of course Sikhism was at the forefront to extinguish that practice because it harmed innocent women.
Sahnewal,
There is nothing wrong with letting your voices being heard. There is something wrong with telling your neighbors about your house hold issues through such a media, if they are even issues.
I would recommend reading "Things Fall Apart", very good reading for this topic, I would just like to leave by saying your mine and no ones cultural beliefs are the ultimate truth they are all equal in there own way. Because one disconnects and does not want to be part of their mother culture does not make their mother culture wrong, it just makes it wrong for them. The author states "Live and let live", which is a statement of individualism, which gives a sense that this person has adapted to Western culture and left their mother culture with does not practice individualism but rather holds strong ground on family values and a family oriented life style. When you get a broken arrow the whole family is effected not just one individual.
thank you
There is nothing wrong with letting your voices being heard. There is something wrong with telling your neighbors about your house hold issues through such a media, if they are even issues.
I would recommend reading "Things Fall Apart", very good reading for this topic, I would just like to leave by saying your mine and no ones cultural beliefs are the ultimate truth they are all equal in there own way. Because one disconnects and does not want to be part of their mother culture does not make their mother culture wrong, it just makes it wrong for them. The author states "Live and let live", which is a statement of individualism, which gives a sense that this person has adapted to Western culture and left their mother culture with does not practice individualism but rather holds strong ground on family values and a family oriented life style. When you get a broken arrow the whole family is effected not just one individual.
thank you
I did not make the claim that I am interested in discussing Indian problems. You wrote that you are angered by a discussion of a problem that would be 'picked up' by other groups to further blacken the eye of the Sikh community. I simply pointed out that the problem extends beyond ours and that it is important to note that we at least are talking about it.
I'm unclear on how you think that not agreeing to a forced marriage is first 'bypassing' one's parents and secondly implicates a person to not care about Sikhism. A lot of parents would want their daughters to get rid of a baby if it is a girl. If the daughter disagrees, and 'bypasses' her parents, is she wrong? What is at stake in this situation in particular is that many individuals in our community believe that a Punjabi Sikh should marry a Punjabi Sikh (often of their parents' choosing), and force their children to follow the belief. This is what is up for discussion. The article also points to the insensitivity of the western media when attempting to be 'culturally appropriate.' Perhaps you could carefully read the article and then comment on it rather than lambasting the author for attempting to discuss problem that is prevalent in the community.
I'm unclear on how you think that not agreeing to a forced marriage is first 'bypassing' one's parents and secondly implicates a person to not care about Sikhism. A lot of parents would want their daughters to get rid of a baby if it is a girl. If the daughter disagrees, and 'bypasses' her parents, is she wrong? What is at stake in this situation in particular is that many individuals in our community believe that a Punjabi Sikh should marry a Punjabi Sikh (often of their parents' choosing), and force their children to follow the belief. This is what is up for discussion. The article also points to the insensitivity of the western media when attempting to be 'culturally appropriate.' Perhaps you could carefully read the article and then comment on it rather than lambasting the author for attempting to discuss problem that is prevalent in the community.
Yes, it’s noted that you don’t want to discuss Indian problems in the same manner you want to sensationalize this issue, perhaps you cant bear the shame.
Neither you nor the author should be penning this problem on Sikhism. Parents, that are practicing feticide of female babies are not doing so with the blessing of Sikhism, in fact its specifically against Sikhism.
I’m sure you and the author realize that but only as a matter of inconvenience, as neither one of you pointed that out.
Sikhism points out that a Sikh should marry a Sikh. If you don’t want to marry a Sikh, then why keep calling this a Sikh issue? It’s a personal belief issue at that point between you and your family.
To date, I don’t know of anyone ever getting a ‘forced marriage’, I doubt too many others have either. Arranged marriage I’ve heard of, but that is a far cry from ‘forced marriage’.
Now sati, ‘forced wife burning’ I’ve heard of being practiced especially amongst upper caste hindus, the wife would be burned to death when the husband died.
That was the Real Shame.
Of course Sikhism was at the forefront to extinguish that practice because it harmed innocent women.
Neither you nor the author should be penning this problem on Sikhism. Parents, that are practicing feticide of female babies are not doing so with the blessing of Sikhism, in fact its specifically against Sikhism.
I’m sure you and the author realize that but only as a matter of inconvenience, as neither one of you pointed that out.
Sikhism points out that a Sikh should marry a Sikh. If you don’t want to marry a Sikh, then why keep calling this a Sikh issue? It’s a personal belief issue at that point between you and your family.
To date, I don’t know of anyone ever getting a ‘forced marriage’, I doubt too many others have either. Arranged marriage I’ve heard of, but that is a far cry from ‘forced marriage’.
Now sati, ‘forced wife burning’ I’ve heard of being practiced especially amongst upper caste hindus, the wife would be burned to death when the husband died.
That was the Real Shame.
Of course Sikhism was at the forefront to extinguish that practice because it harmed innocent women.
Sahnewal,
There is nothing wrong with letting your voices being heard. There is something wrong with telling your neighbors about your house hold issues through such a media, if they are even issues.
I would recommend reading "Things Fall Apart", very good reading for this topic, I would just like to leave by saying your mine and no ones cultural beliefs are the ultimate truth they are all equal in there own way. Because one disconnects and does not want to be part of their mother culture does not make their mother culture wrong, it just makes it wrong for them. The author states "Live and let live", which is a statement of individualism, which gives a sense that this person has adapted to Western culture and left their mother culture with does not practice individualism but rather holds strong ground on family values and a family oriented life style. When you get a broken arrow the whole family is effected not just one individual.
thank you
There is nothing wrong with letting your voices being heard. There is something wrong with telling your neighbors about your house hold issues through such a media, if they are even issues.
I would recommend reading "Things Fall Apart", very good reading for this topic, I would just like to leave by saying your mine and no ones cultural beliefs are the ultimate truth they are all equal in there own way. Because one disconnects and does not want to be part of their mother culture does not make their mother culture wrong, it just makes it wrong for them. The author states "Live and let live", which is a statement of individualism, which gives a sense that this person has adapted to Western culture and left their mother culture with does not practice individualism but rather holds strong ground on family values and a family oriented life style. When you get a broken arrow the whole family is effected not just one individual.
thank you
Sikhs are experencing some thing new and that is what is disturbing them.
In a ancient Punjabi society everything was so well structured the jatts married jatts , ravidass married ravidass ,khatris married Khatris , Arora married aroras and Ramgarhia married Ramgarhia etc etc and life went on with out much hue and cry.
Now suddenly Sikhs began to encounter people which they had never seen before in their history like the whites ,africans.
In olden times their would have come as invaders and girls taken as booty by the winner of wars and changed our genetic make up.
Now times have changed and some ( ? many )of whites and africans have such desirable qualities like the whites innate brillance in science and technology and the africans physical traits would make some ( ? many ) of Sikhs girls attracted to them .
You cant deny merit if someone is good then he is naturally a source of attraction what ever the religion may say.
Also since our Gurujis preached the Universality of mankind the girls are further justified in their attraction.
Sikhs will so keep on evolving by this mechanism of genetic exchange and for the spriitual minded this is will of "WAHEGURU" as he is the Karta purakh.
This is not the end or road for the Sikhs .
Be prepared to meet some more exotic aliens from the many unvierses and dimensions ( 12 as per "M" theory" we live in to sprout out and offer our males further Biological challenges.
May Wahe Guru be ank dang sahi to our Khalsa to rise up to all challenges they will face in future.
In a ancient Punjabi society everything was so well structured the jatts married jatts , ravidass married ravidass ,khatris married Khatris , Arora married aroras and Ramgarhia married Ramgarhia etc etc and life went on with out much hue and cry.
Now suddenly Sikhs began to encounter people which they had never seen before in their history like the whites ,africans.
In olden times their would have come as invaders and girls taken as booty by the winner of wars and changed our genetic make up.
Now times have changed and some ( ? many )of whites and africans have such desirable qualities like the whites innate brillance in science and technology and the africans physical traits would make some ( ? many ) of Sikhs girls attracted to them .
You cant deny merit if someone is good then he is naturally a source of attraction what ever the religion may say.
Also since our Gurujis preached the Universality of mankind the girls are further justified in their attraction.
Sikhs will so keep on evolving by this mechanism of genetic exchange and for the spriitual minded this is will of "WAHEGURU" as he is the Karta purakh.
This is not the end or road for the Sikhs .
Be prepared to meet some more exotic aliens from the many unvierses and dimensions ( 12 as per "M" theory" we live in to sprout out and offer our males further Biological challenges.
May Wahe Guru be ank dang sahi to our Khalsa to rise up to all challenges they will face in future.
Often parents undergo social pressure when daughters are not married by an age that is the social norm. Many parents consider marrying daughters a parental obligation in a traditional sense. Sometimes it leads to unwise actions like forced marriages. Some of these marriages end up in disasters for the girls' family (check the holiday bride problem). It is totally unfair for the girl, who is trapped between keeping parents happy and being happy herself.
The other situation where the girl has found someone, and parents want to force her into marriage - sounds more like a personal problem of the parents with that guy! Meanwhile the boy in the arranged marriage finds himself in a mess.
The other situation where the girl has found someone, and parents want to force her into marriage - sounds more like a personal problem of the parents with that guy! Meanwhile the boy in the arranged marriage finds himself in a mess.
Harinder- it's comical and illustrative of how little voice women in our community have that you "pity the Sikh boys." In most cases of abusive relationships, it's the women who are abused. Both men and women may be unhappy in unwanted marriages, but women don't tend to physically abuse their spouses as a result. Unfortunately, most public discussions that take place in our community do so in your male-centric framework rather than one that is gender neutral or inclusive of all genders.
Tajinder-
There is something wrong with telling your neighbors about your house hold issues through such a media, if they are even issues. (emphasis added)
Who one marries is a personal issue if the potential spouses have a choice in the matter. If they choose their spouse according to a sense of duty to their family, community, cultural beliefs, that's totally respectable and laudable, as long as they actually had a choice in the matter.
But if or when people are forced into relationships that are abusive, and if this occurs systematically, then this becomes an issue for the entire community. I'm all for traditionalism except where traditions lead to abuse. Where traditions create risks of danger or harm members of the community, the value of the tradition is less than the value of the health and lives of large #s of people who are harmed, in my opinion.
It's an issue for the Sikh community, as Sikhs, because Sikhi demands that women and men live as equals. If we aren't doing this, then we're not living up to our Gurus' teachings.
The problem doesn't cease to exist just because you refuse to see it.
There is something wrong with telling your neighbors about your house hold issues through such a media, if they are even issues. (emphasis added)
Who one marries is a personal issue if the potential spouses have a choice in the matter. If they choose their spouse according to a sense of duty to their family, community, cultural beliefs, that's totally respectable and laudable, as long as they actually had a choice in the matter.
But if or when people are forced into relationships that are abusive, and if this occurs systematically, then this becomes an issue for the entire community. I'm all for traditionalism except where traditions lead to abuse. Where traditions create risks of danger or harm members of the community, the value of the tradition is less than the value of the health and lives of large #s of people who are harmed, in my opinion.
It's an issue for the Sikh community, as Sikhs, because Sikhi demands that women and men live as equals. If we aren't doing this, then we're not living up to our Gurus' teachings.
The problem doesn't cease to exist just because you refuse to see it.
Sikhs are experencing some thing new and that is what is disturbing them.
In a ancient Punjabi society everything was so well structured the jatts married jatts , ravidass married ravidass ,khatris married Khatris , Arora married aroras and Ramgarhia married Ramgarhia etc etc and life went on with out much hue and cry.
Now suddenly Sikhs began to encounter people which they had never seen before in their history like the whites ,africans.
In olden times their would have come as invaders and girls taken as booty by the winner of wars and changed our genetic make up.
Now times have changed and some ( ? many )of whites and africans have such desirable qualities like the whites innate brillance in science and technology and the africans physical traits would make some ( ? many ) of Sikhs girls attracted to them .
You cant deny merit if someone is good then he is naturally a source of attraction what ever the religion may say.
Also since our Gurujis preached the Universality of mankind the girls are further justified in their attraction.
Sikhs will so keep on evolving by this mechanism of genetic exchange and for the spriitual minded this is will of "WAHEGURU" as he is the Karta purakh.
This is not the end or road for the Sikhs .
Be prepared to meet some more exotic aliens from the many unvierses and dimensions ( 12 as per "M" theory" we live in to sprout out and offer our males further Biological challenges.
May Wahe Guru be ank dang sahi to our Khalsa to rise up to all challenges they will face in future.
In a ancient Punjabi society everything was so well structured the jatts married jatts , ravidass married ravidass ,khatris married Khatris , Arora married aroras and Ramgarhia married Ramgarhia etc etc and life went on with out much hue and cry.
Now suddenly Sikhs began to encounter people which they had never seen before in their history like the whites ,africans.
In olden times their would have come as invaders and girls taken as booty by the winner of wars and changed our genetic make up.
Now times have changed and some ( ? many )of whites and africans have such desirable qualities like the whites innate brillance in science and technology and the africans physical traits would make some ( ? many ) of Sikhs girls attracted to them .
You cant deny merit if someone is good then he is naturally a source of attraction what ever the religion may say.
Also since our Gurujis preached the Universality of mankind the girls are further justified in their attraction.
Sikhs will so keep on evolving by this mechanism of genetic exchange and for the spriitual minded this is will of "WAHEGURU" as he is the Karta purakh.
This is not the end or road for the Sikhs .
Be prepared to meet some more exotic aliens from the many unvierses and dimensions ( 12 as per "M" theory" we live in to sprout out and offer our males further Biological challenges.
May Wahe Guru be ank dang sahi to our Khalsa to rise up to all challenges they will face in future.
Often parents undergo social pressure when daughters are not married by an age that is the social norm. Many parents consider marrying daughters a parental obligation in a traditional sense. Sometimes it leads to unwise actions like forced marriages. Some of these marriages end up in disasters for the girls' family (check the holiday bride problem). It is totally unfair for the girl, who is trapped between keeping parents happy and being happy herself.
The other situation where the girl has found someone, and parents want to force her into marriage - sounds more like a personal problem of the parents with that guy! Meanwhile the boy in the arranged marriage finds himself in a mess.
The other situation where the girl has found someone, and parents want to force her into marriage - sounds more like a personal problem of the parents with that guy! Meanwhile the boy in the arranged marriage finds himself in a mess.
Harinder- it's comical and illustrative of how little voice women in our community have that you "pity the Sikh boys." In most cases of abusive relationships, it's the women who are abused. Both men and women may be unhappy in unwanted marriages, but women don't tend to physically abuse their spouses as a result. Unfortunately, most public discussions that take place in our community do so in your male-centric framework rather than one that is gender neutral or inclusive of all genders.
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I think the title is some how disturbing to u and probably me too.
It should not have the noun “SIKH ” in it.
I agree with it.
[…] Anytime I have written about Sanghera, I have stirred the anger of some of my brethren (and sistren?), but mostly brethren. So here we go again. ? […]
Dear Colleague,
Welcome to Obiter!
Obiter Training Limited is a new training organisation based in the Midlands, which aims to offer courses in niche areas of law, and that which links it to issues affecting our communities in order to help create change.
It gives me great pleasure to extend to you and your colleagues at the Women’s Networking Hub, an invitation to the launch event of our organisation. Our first seminar will be on the controversial and topical issue of Forced Marriages & Honour-Based Violence.
The seminar will be presented by three highly influential speakers, at St Philips Chambers in Birmingham City Centre on 4th February 2010.
This event is proving popular and spaces are limited – those interested in attending are encouraged to book early.
On behalf of the Obiter Team, may we thank you in advance for your support and we look forward to meeting with you in the very near future! Together, we can create change.
With kind regards
The Obiter team
Dear Colleague,
Welcome to Obiter!
Obiter Training Limited is a new training organisation based in the Midlands, which aims to offer courses in niche areas of law, and that which links it to issues affecting our communities in order to help create change.
It gives me great pleasure to extend to you and your colleagues at the Women’s Networking Hub, an invitation to the launch event of our organisation. Our first seminar will be on the controversial and topical issue of Forced Marriages & Honour-Based Violence.
The seminar will be presented by three highly influential speakers, at St Philips Chambers in Birmingham City Centre on 4th February 2010.
This event is proving popular and spaces are limited – those interested in attending are encouraged to book early.
On behalf of the Obiter Team, may we thank you in advance for your support and we look forward to meeting with you in the very near future! Together, we can create change.
With kind regards
The Obiter team
<a href="http://www.obiter-training.com” target=”_blank”>www.obiter-training.com
http://www.obiter-training.com
I once had a Hindu boyfriend and I am Catholic. Between us, he was the dreamer and believer that
our relationship would work. And so I trusted him and entered into our relationship, and we were happy. Until he has to go back to India for his brother's wedding, and that started our problems.
He said his parents would never accept it, he talked to his relative and his relative said our relatiionship would never worked, because my boyfriend would marry someone that his father would choose. And just like that, my boyfriend dumped me. It's just like being left alone in dark. Just pained so much that he was the one who gave me strenght to have our relationship but at the end left me alone in the battle.
I think most indians are ignorant and one minded. If u want ur daughter to get arranged then stay in INDIA!
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