Guest blogged by Gurchit Singh. Gurchit is a 16-year-old aspiring activist (in his own words) who submitted this piece (his first) to The Langar Hall. Raksha Bandan was last Saturday, August 13th.
Oh the joys of Raksha Bandan! The air is filled with love, family members are conversing and munching on a plethora of sweets, hugs and kisses are being ecstatically extended to any and all family members the overemotional-mother can seem to get her loving arms around, and the overall mood in the home is one which many families can only dream of experiencing on a daily basis. Unfortunately, these loving moments only further promote a holiday which demotes women and opposes aspects of Sikhism itself.
While occupying myself with Facebook and sipping warm milk on the morning of Raksha Bandan, I was going through my daily routine of checking any notifications I may have received from the prior night. After reading many generic Raksha Bandan-related salutations, I finally came across one that actually defined what it was actually aimed at achieving: “Raksha Bandhan is a festival which celebrates the relationship between brothers and sisters. The ceremony involves the tying of a rakhi (sacred thread) by a sister on her brother’s wrist. This symbolizes the sister’s love and prayers for her brother’s well-being, and the brother’s lifelong vow to protect her.” While reading this definition, the two phrases that IMMEDIATELY jumped out at me were “sacred thread”, which conjured an instant connection to one of Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s earliest forms of rebellion against what he believed aimless and biased: the Janeu ( the full Sakhi can be referenced here), and “brother’s lifelong vow to protect her”, which called forth an image of a frail young woman constantly relying on her brother for protection from external occurrences.
So the question pending is: Why does a man need a cheaply crafted bracelet around his wrist to remind him that as a Sikh, he has the responsibility to assist an individual in need? He does not. Becoming a genuinely brave and helpful individual must come from within, and the only way to achieve this is to prioritize what is most important in life: yourself or others.
If one does wish to obtain a sacred thread, one need not go far, for the only true sacred thread is one that is metaphorical, and what is truly special about this thread, is that it is available to individuals of both sexes. Step back, think, and separate right from wrong, for self-contemplation is the only way one can truly improve and move on.
naae ma(n)niai path oopajai saalaahee sach sooth ||
dharageh a(n)dhar paaeeai thag n thoottas pooth ||3||Believing in the Name, honor is obtained. The Lord’s Praise is the true sacred thread.
Such a sacred thread is worn in the Court of the Lord; it shall never break. ||3||
Now onto the meat of the matter: sexism. In my eyes, Raksha Bandan is just another ritual that made its way out of a predominantly sexist country, and now threatens to pollute the open-mindedness of others.
After condemning Rakhi on Facebook, a close friend commented the following: “…face it, [it’s] more likely the brother is often put through the test of protecting [their] sisters.” Aside from grammatical flaws, this statement remains very incorrect. Yes, to many people the woman is feeble and weak, always looking for support, but to those that are capable of looking at things in a less provincial manner, it is clear that where the woman lacks physically, the man lacks mentally.
The idea of protection should be treated as a double-sided concept because any individual is capable of helping another. Men are more prone to giving into societal pressures, for our sex has been infested with the idea that drugs and alcohol make us cool and help us fit in. We need the help and protection of women most when we go through the phase where we wonder if drugs and alcohol can benefit us, and in all honestly, I find it more likely that any woman can talk me out of committing these deeds than any man ever could. “Men are made to be physically stronger, but that does not mean women [can’t] be just as strong if not stronger. Women can do many other things that men in fact cannot” ~Anjali Lobana.
For the first time in my mere 16 years of life I have finally spoken aloud and opposed the family tradition of Raksha Bandan. I have taken a stand and have corrected my wrongs. I have stopped a tradition in my family which I feel undermines everything I have ever been taught and everything I have ever learned on my own. After 16 years of living my life, I have finally realized that the Revolution Starts With Me.
Beautifully said. I have the same sentiments and have been unable to find the appropriate words to express it. Thank you for speaking aloud!
Raksha Bandan is not a Sikh tradition. It is tradition that is celebrated all over India. There is nothing sacred about it. The chances/danger is that with the passage of time it will be commercialized as the mothers day is in western countries. We need to cherish and protect the traditions as we do our language.
Did people in Andra Pradesh celebrate Raksa Bandan in the 1800s? I would guess they didnt.
Should we cherish and protect Karava Chuth if it becomes commercialized and Muslims and Christians celebrate it too?
Just to clarify, when you say that "we need to cherish and protect the traditions", do you mean that this is something that we should participate in?
@Tej…totally correct. It is an Indian tradition as is caste-ism, subjugation (Manu, the creator of Hinduism, puts Sudras, women and dogs in the same category. Why should we participate in it and cherish and protect it if it is against Sikh philosophy. That is what the post is saying. Perhaps you should look at cherishing 'education' also.
which books says manu is the creator of hinduism? manu is a fairly recent book that was written and most hindus don't even read that book or even acknowledge it…go to any hindu temple and tell me if you can find the "laws of manu." it doesn't exist anywhere.
@Ravi, totally not true. Manu is the founder of Hinduism and puts women in the same category as dogs. Hindus do not read any texts basically because the Vedas and Bhagavagita is reserved for the Brahmans and is in Sanskirt. Most Hindus defer to Brahman priests or rituals as part of their worship not the reading of texts. The fact that you refer to it as 'the laws of Manu' mean that you have heard and read about it but are reluctant to acknowledge it as yours and the source of Hinduism.
vedas precede manusmriti by about 1500 years
Proof?
vedas are written in vedic sanskrit, manusmriti in classical sanskrit, two different languages, like night and day. very well established facts. you can ask any sanskrit scholar and they will tell you the same.
but what does manusmriti have to do with rakhri? rakhri is not even mentioned in manusmriti.
@Guest: It is irrelevant when they were written or which comes first. Law of Manu describes women in the same category as dogs. Hindu philosophy degrades women, Rakhri is Hindu tradition….and like it or not , bro, we are not Hindus………………
yes manu has some bad things written in it. not denying it. just telling you it's not a "hindu" book. there is no temple that carries it. no hindu studies this book. every temple has a copy of the gita, the vedas, the mahabharata, etc., none have the laws of manu.
also show where you heard that manu is the "founder" of hinduism. there is no founder, the vedas were written by several hundred rishis, the gita was sung by krishna, the mahabharata was written sage vyasa, and none of those books mention manu as the "founder" of hinduism. i sincerely hope you are not getting your information from christian missionary websites – the same ones that also bash religions like sikhism?
rakhri is not a "hindu" tradition, it's a shared tradition among many different groups, like divali and many others.
So many comments from so many people….
Did Gurchit mentioned that "Hindus or any other" should stop celebrating "rakhri"???? He just mentioned his experience and what should be followed in the Sikhism….
Bro, its a HINDU tradition. Who else shares it? Only the Sikhs who have become assimilated and are being absorbed by Hinduism. Do Muslims and Christians share it? Sikh women do not need 'protection'….they are equal to men. Get over it…we are not like you.
so by your logic we shouldn't eat roti because that's "hindu" food, or drink lassi because that's a "hindu" drink? or we shouldn't use the internet because that's "european" or "japanese" technology? don't be ridiculous. we share the world with a lot of different kinds of people. in any case, rakhri has nothing to do with hinduism. it's not mentioned in vedas, gita, manusmriti, shastras, anywhere.
We are talking 'tradition' not food. Roti and lassi, are from the Punjab. You folks cant grow wheat!!! Its all about rice for you. Sharing the world doesn't mean we share your religion or views. Also sharing is a two way street….it means you give back to others and that means equal rights for Sikhs and other minorities in India. Rakhi and subjugation of women and the caste system is all in Hinduism, just because you don't like it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!!!
1. caste-ism and subjugation of women exists all over the world. you can't say it only originates in hinduism.
2. this is more specifically aimed at "guestisbest" – the point of religion, and Sikhism is to be a better a person and serve God. The writer of the article above is attempting that. If you think the point of being Sikh is to bash other religions then you've missed the whole point and are setting a bad example. Langar hall is a progressive website so why anti-progressive voices are here is kind of strange. Unless of course you're an undercover missionary, in which case carry on.
Guru Nanak wanted Hindus to be good Hindus and Muslims to be good Muslims. The gurus contributed to that goodness by setting an example as upstanding Sikhs.
2 quotes from the Guru Granth Sahib:
"The best thing you can do is to try to always help others."
whatever effort you put in here on the comments section could just as easily be used to help those less fortunate.
"Some call the Lord 'Ram, Ram', and some 'Khuda'.
Some serve Him as 'Gusain', others as 'Allah'.
He is the Cause of causes, and Generous."
if the gurus disliked other religions the same way some ppl here do, they would've blatantly written in their holy book about how Sikhs need to eradicate these religions. they didn't write that though. peace
WOW you guys are fighting over being a Hindu and being a Sikh thing as if you will kill each other. I am a Hindu and a Sikh. I am from mix religious family and love and care for both the religions as well as its traditions…where do my kind of person go if you guys are rejecting Hindus? Same way Hindus reject Sikhs for the same shit for the same crap you guys are playing here? Truthfully I know for sure that Sikh religion (???) was born to save the fellow human, to protect them not to take a new shape and fight against our own traditions….Guru Nanak to Guru Gobind ALL WERE BORN TO HINDU PARENTS….Sadly we generations after generations are killing the original traditions instead of renewing and revamping them according to today's world…shame on being Hindu and being a Sikh for that matter….if we cant love each other, we have no right to call ourselves Hindu or Sikh or anything for that matter!!!
I am sure the author was just trying to speak up his mind not to provoke Hinduism or Sikhism or such kind of 'isms' Wish we people start loving each other instead of hating each other!!!
There is something wrong ™ with raksha bandhan. Strike a blow for freedom. Fight the good fight against sexism by attacking relatively benign and inconsequential superficialities along well worn tracks. Also ladoos. They should be pink AND blue so that we can have a revolution.
Kantay beta there is everything wrong with raksha bandhan. It is one morel step on assimilating Sikhs into the non-thinking Hindu majority….remember my words…one small step at a time and the butterfly effect…..be viligant or else you too will become a low caste Hindu.
Gurchit Singh: Fantastic post! Well done. We need more young Sikh men like you to take such a stand. Let the Revolution begin…..May Waheguru bless you.
I agree with Gurchit! Amazing article. Thank you for writing it!
By the way its really sad that in order to fight sexism you say that women are mentally stronger. Way to cut yourself down. Women and girls of color are significantly more likely to graduate college and get what jobs are out there. Maybe instead of symbols that are soft targets that your wider society will never pay mind to you could address the crisis of violence against women in colleges mostly by men and boys who have never heard of raksha bandhan or the serious disparities effecting boys of color in educational achievment. I know you are young but activists should go for thinking beyond the cliche.
Critiquing raksha bandan and the gendered implications of it does not mean that you are cutting "yourself" down. In regards to what you are saying about colleges and violence against women–what does that have to do with raksha bandan? The writer is being VERY specific about the topic he is tackling. You are bringing in a whole different concept that really has NOTHING to do with raksha bandan. Yes, violence against women in colleges is important—but why are you bringing it up here?
Sorry if this is harsh but you will have more than enough people encouraging you, some because it serves their interest.
Kantay beta: One step at a time….it all starts with a single action, remember the 'butterfly effect.' Looking at your numerous posts I would suggest that this board also serves your interest as well so let's not be judgmental…
the butterfly effect now is toward pushing more and more boys of color into low paying jobs or no jobs at all and the rampant increase in alcohol binge drinking by women and men in college leading to serious problems, most by men who will never know a single thing about rakhi. But lets talk about rakhi because that is a pressing issue that appeases some who consider what kind of shirt they wear when they are 16 to be one of the most pressing issues facing this and any community.
< Men are more prone to giving into societal pressures, for our sex has been infested with the idea that drugs and alcohol make us cool and help us fit in>
Oh god from where does authors come out with these type of researches.Women if not more are equally vulnerable to societal pressure as men. many women in India ,in colleges or work places shun their traditional Indian image and adopt image of western babe because they feel its cool .They may like it or not but the they just succumb to look like babe because of freinds ,society.
<I find it more likely that any woman can talk me out of committing these deeds than any man ever could. “Men are made to be physically stronger, but that does not mean women [can’t] be just as strong if not stronger. Women can do many other things that men in fact cannot” ~Anjali Lobana.>
Again what a surprising statement .On an average women just have 52% of upper body strength compare to an average man.If women are similar then why don't we have unisexual sports all around the world just like the education
Gurchit Singh …you’re Great!! Excellent post..a much needed to break “Brahman vaad” entering into our Culture and Tradition..
every tradition looks empty and meaningless if you don't understand the meaning and intent behind it. rakhri is just a chance for brothers and sisters to show their affection for one another, that's all. the blessings are supposed to be reciprocal. it's just a fun day to get together with your siblings and remind each other how you care for one another.
U R right,it is just a day for fun and get together.Leave it to internet & blogs like TLH to turn every thing upside down and take the fun out of every little tradition in the name of sikhi.
@Mohinder Singh: no, not upside down. Its just an attempt to get Sikhs to think. Have you ever heard of that? Some people would argue that 'rioting' is fun but look where that led to in the UK. This is the most irresponsible and lazy remark I have heard. You must honestly lack an education. Can the Indian government not afford you one?
thanks for the post, well written. an alternative approach to challenging this cultural practice is to reclaim raksha bandhan and change it's meaning. ie. brothers and sisters acknowledge a bond, will work to check each other, help each other grow and gain knowledge, and use the opportunity to agree to combat misogyny together as allies. the argument you lay out about women being stonger is true but simply dismissing the entire holiday could offend more old school folks.
Toooo much time on your hands people!
look who's talking, busy!
maybe another point of view on Rakhri (what you call Raksha Bandhan).
Back in some day, back in some way, married women were left, in Hindu tradition, to their own devices. So if their husband beat them, or prostituted them, as a brother you have no say, you see, there was no other way! And Muslims see women as inferior in every way!
Take it however you like, I see Rakhri as a yearly bond between my sister and me, and nothing else you see. I'm always there to help her in any way, come what may, and she me any day!
The thread is not sacred (i usually remove it 5-10 mins after), and any belief by anyone that the thread actually means something more (not just a Sikh) should get their head examined!
The sacredness is the bond of brotherhood and sisterhood between my sisters and me!
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This bunch of Talibans has contributed more than 85% in Independence of this Country……further..These Talibans saved life of your fore-sisters from Mohd. Gajnabi, Durani etc. who sold them in the Markets of Gajni (in Afganistan) for a "Taka"…why the brothers of those girls didn't saved them from Afganis??? At that time this bunch of Talibans brought them back …Surprised?? these girls never tied Sacred Thread on their wrists still they saved them????? Because "Respect & Humanity" is all of the above ..Be it Man..or ,…Be it Woman..Do search history as it has "Lesson Learned" 🙂
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Jats in Punjab have never placed themselves in the caste system……buddhism, islam, sikhi, and the hinduism practiced in Punjab all show this. The British records indicate this as well. Jat kisay tho na kut. If we follow a certain path its because we agree with it.
I agree with you Kantay, One of the tenets of Sikh religion is that everybody is equal – no caste system. But the reality is lot different than preaching. You can go to any Gurduwara in India, and you will see people of lower caste sitting outside of the precinct of the Gurduwara. This is not the fault of the religion; but the people who practice it. The caste system is still practiced (by Hindus and Sikhs) in today's India. It will be well worth the effort of all the people (who are attacking the "Raksha" ) for an introspective. Raksha has been going on for centuries still Sikh religion prospered because forefathers were fighting for something real issues.
I'm not well versed in the caste system (I only learned of my 'caste' in college) but I think its fair to say that Sikhs find themselves complicit with some kind of caste system if not 'the' caste system.
rakhri is about affirming the bond between brothers and sisters. gurchit singh describes it quite eloquently in his post:
"Oh the joys of Raksha Bandan! The air is filled with love, family members are conversing and munching on a plethora of sweets, hugs and kisses are being ecstatically extended to any and all family members the overemotional-mother can seem to get her loving arms around, and the overall mood in the home is one which many families can only dream of experiencing on a daily basis"
that sounds great to me. look, if you don't want to affirm the bond between yourself and your brothers and/or sisters, then don't participate, that's all there is to it. no need to drag religion into something that's not religious to begin with, saying this is sikhi and that is anti-sikhi.
The best comment so far. Thank you.
Does Rakhsa Bandan happen in West Punjab? If it does, I'll believe the argument that its evacuated of religious meaning.
@Guest. If you look at the article it says that it was celebrated by Hindus and Sikhs in Pakistan…not Muslims….so it would appear that it does have religious meaning.
No, no, behind every happy family is a picture of oppression and violence. you must not be aware of this truth.
http://newsleaks.in/rakhi-celebrated-in-pakistan/
"Rakhi is a festival that celebrates the bond between brothers and sisters."
Who is exactly a Hindu….for that matter who is a Sikh?
Having a bond with ur sister or brother is a cherished thing hopefully year round and like any day of remembrance its a day for exactly that remembrance. Having it come down to capital exchange and patriarchal protection are some of the pitfalls of commodification of relationships. It’s another part of the plan to create a pan Indian experience to serve imperial ideology. Thanks for sharing Gurchit.
WHAT????
Here's a devil's advocate argument: if, as Sikhs, we should reject rakhri as a practice, should we defend the right of others to practice this ritual? How does rakhri compare to, say, wearing of the veil/burqa/hijab, which while rejected by Sikhi, has been defended by Sikhs as a Muslim practice?
The gendered implications of raksha bandhan I agree does not have much to do with violence against women in US colleges and also does not have much to do with the serious disparities in educational achievement between boys and girls. It does.allow people to write the phrase “gendered implications of raksha bandhan”
Oh I forgot to add…also fight the power and the personal is political
Also please remember to apologize to your female relatives for being a Punjabi male and try to do better about that. I’m educating you, you are welcome