Just a Nice Story
Posted by Jodha in Musings on 05 23rd, 2010 | 112 responses
I saw this on the New York Times right now and just thought I would share a nice story. If you get a chance, go watch the video. Congratulations Sona and Justin!
112 Responses to “Just a Nice Story”
How can a Sikh girl marry a Jewish guy?? She is not a pure sikh.
I think it's really sweet. Yes she is a pure sikh, she wears a turban and everything.
How can a Sikh girl marry a Jewish guy?? She is not a pure sikh.
I think it's really sweet. Yes she is a pure sikh, she wears a turban and everything.
I'm not amritdhari because I know I haven't got the mental strength to be true to everything that would be required of me. While I am very happy for the newly wed couple it does seem that she is picking and choosing which of her amritdhari requirements she wishes to be true to and which she conveniently ignores (because they get in the way of her love life), which makes a mockery of her appearance as an amritdhari Sikh. Has she invented her own new religion ?
I'm not amritdhari because I know I haven't got the mental strength to be true to everything that would be required of me. While I am very happy for the newly wed couple it does seem that she is picking and choosing which of her amritdhari requirements she wishes to be true to and which she conveniently ignores (because they get in the way of her love life), which makes a mockery of her appearance as an amritdhari Sikh. Has she invented her own new religion ?
doshanjh -no she has not invented her own religion as in were in da guru granth shabi does it say dat we cnt not marry any person other dan a sikh…???
doshanjh -no she has not invented her own religion as in were in da guru granth shabi does it say dat we cnt not marry any person other dan a sikh…???
An Amritdhari must marry an Amritdhart…by marrring a non-Amritdhari she is now Tankaiya.
A Gursikhs should have high morals and values and not indulge is a relationship. I can't beleive she chose a guy over her Guru!
To my knowledge. Sikhs can marry who they like, as long as they are not muslim…What some of you are saying so contradicts what is in the GGS, that it worries me that SIkhs will become like Islamic Fundamentalists….perhaps good we never go Khalistan…it would have been just another Pakistan..
An Amritdhari must marry an Amritdhart…by marrring a non-Amritdhari she is now Tankaiya.
A Gursikhs should have high morals and values and not indulge is a relationship. I can't beleive she chose a guy over her Guru!
Sikhs can marry any one they want to even muslims.There are no restrictions,only a few of them in the diaspora act like fundametalists no one cares about these things in india.The baptised sikhs outside india basically do not know anthing about doctrinal sikhim
To my knowledge. Sikhs can marry who they like, as long as they are not muslim…What some of you are saying so contradicts what is in the GGS, that it worries me that SIkhs will become like Islamic Fundamentalists….perhaps good we never go Khalistan…it would have been just another Pakistan..
Sikhs can marry any one they want to even muslims.There are no restrictions,only a few of them in the diaspora act like fundametalists no one cares about these things in india.The baptised sikhs outside india basically do not know anthing about doctrinal sikhim
I don't understand what What the bloggers on langarhall are trying to prove by posting and calling it a nice story.The sikh panth is quite clear that Amritdhari should marry Amrithdhari or atleast a sikh ,If you don't believe in it you are free to do anything but you can't call yourself a sikh following rehat.When anyone takes Amrit with his/her own freewill then he has to obey the rehat of the sect from which he/she has taken Amrit I don't think in any sect of sikhism panj pyare are going to sanction the marriage of
an amrithdhari with non sikh then what's the point keeping the rehat?
.By calling it a nice story bloggers of langarhall are saying it is O.K to not to follow rehat properly and Amritdhari can find loopholes so they can do anything they want
I don't understand what What the bloggers on langarhall are trying to prove by posting and calling it a nice story.The sikh panth is quite clear that Amritdhari should marry Amrithdhari or atleast a sikh ,If you don't believe in it you are free to do anything but you can't call yourself a sikh following rehat.When anyone takes Amrit with his/her own freewill then he has to obey the rehat of the sect from which he/she has taken Amrit I don't think in any sect of sikhism panj pyare are going to sanction the marriage of
an amrithdhari with non sikh then what's the point keeping the rehat?
.By calling it a nice story bloggers of langarhall are saying it is O.K to not to follow rehat properly and Amritdhari can find loopholes so they can do anything they want
she has no right to that dastaar, and no right to shame the panth in this way. if she wanted to marry him she should have taken off the dastaar,simple. Or if she wanted the everlasting bliss of being a Guru Da Sikh , should not have done this. One must ask the question as to how she came to the stage of marrying him in the first place? I don't see it happening without some extent of dating, in which case making the purpose a patit anyway, but certainly tankhaee after doing marriage. Panj pyare say in cases where only one of a already married couple is taking amrit that they must treat their partner as a brother/sister (i.e no physical, not a spouse anymore) until they take amrit. This is to people from sikh families, can you imagine someone who actually practices a whole DIFFERENT RELIGION.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS BLOG?? ITS CRAZY THAT YOU ARE CALLING SOMEONE BECOMING A PATIT AND DOING BADNAMI OF US NATIONALLY AS 'NICE'
she has no right to that dastaar, and no right to shame the panth in this way. if she wanted to marry him she should have taken off the dastaar,simple. Or if she wanted the everlasting bliss of being a Guru Da Sikh , should not have done this. One must ask the question as to how she came to the stage of marrying him in the first place? I don't see it happening without some extent of dating, in which case making the purpose a patit anyway, but certainly tankhaee after doing marriage. Panj pyare say in cases where only one of a already married couple is taking amrit that they must treat their partner as a brother/sister (i.e no physical, not a spouse anymore) until they take amrit. This is to people from sikh families, can you imagine someone who actually practices a whole DIFFERENT RELIGION.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS BLOG?? ITS CRAZY THAT YOU ARE CALLING SOMEONE BECOMING A PATIT AND DOING BADNAMI OF US NATIONALLY AS 'NICE'
Clearly, the administrators misjudged thisone, re likely public opinion
Mind you, as this is a non Sikh marrying a SIkh girl, everyone is getting vexed, yet no one has really bothered commenting on the Womb blog, where it is pro-woman…girls, does this tell you something?
First of all, Sona isn't Amritdhari. So all of your discussion regarding how she is behaving as an amritdhari is moot.
Second of all, Many of you made a lot of assumptions about her and her Sikhi based on a single picture and video, especially those of you that felt it was your place to decide whether or not she has a right to wear her dastaar. You assumed she is amritdhari and you assumed she was disrespecting that amrit. She wears her dastaar because it is a part of her, in the same way many Sikh men wear a turban without being amritdhari. There are plenty of Sikh men who keep beards and wear turbans who live their lives in a distinctly non-Sikh way, yet the standard they are held to is far different. No one tells them that they shouldn't be permitted to wear turbans because they engage in behavior that is contradictory to Sikh beliefs.
Thirdly, it is ignorant to assume that because a Sikh marries a Sikh that couple automatically is preserving Sikh principles. How many Sikh-Sikh couples do we know that cut their hair/drink/etc.? Is our faith better preserved in their hands or by someone who is strong enough in their faith regardless of who they marry?
Clearly, the administrators misjudged thisone, re likely public opinion
Mind you, as this is a non Sikh marrying a SIkh girl, everyone is getting vexed, yet no one has really bothered commenting on the Womb blog, where it is pro-woman…girls, does this tell you something?
Thank god finally somebody with sense on this blog.It has'nt happened in a long long time ,keep it up young lady.
I agree with you Dosanjh, Rakesh Sood is clearly a disturbed individual and needs psychiatric help. This is what he had to say on another topic:
"Gina u askedhat kind of sick fuckswell ur answr is sikh fucks when it comes to women sikhs r sick."
Rakesh Sood on Justice for Jassi? A Pyrrhic Consolation?, Monday, May 24, 2010 at 12:29 am
Khalsa Panth, as far as I can tell, this blog has no interest in promoting or championing Sikhs and Sikhism – their only motive seems to be to create controversy so that they get more hit, full stop.
First of all, Sona isn't Amritdhari. So all of your discussion regarding how she is behaving as an amritdhari is moot.
Second of all, Many of you made a lot of assumptions about her and her Sikhi based on a single picture and video, especially those of you that felt it was your place to decide whether or not she has a right to wear her dastaar. You assumed she is amritdhari and you assumed she was disrespecting that amrit. She wears her dastaar because it is a part of her, in the same way many Sikh men wear a turban without being amritdhari. There are plenty of Sikh men who keep beards and wear turbans who live their lives in a distinctly non-Sikh way, yet the standard they are held to is far different. No one tells them that they shouldn't be permitted to wear turbans because they engage in behavior that is contradictory to Sikh beliefs.
Thirdly, it is ignorant to assume that because a Sikh marries a Sikh that couple automatically is preserving Sikh principles. How many Sikh-Sikh couples do we know that cut their hair/drink/etc.? Is our faith better preserved in their hands or by someone who is strong enough in their faith regardless of who they marry?
Thank god finally somebody with sense on this blog.It has'nt happened in a long long time ,keep it up young lady.
I agree with you Dosanjh, Rakesh Sood is clearly a disturbed individual and needs psychiatric help. This is what he had to say on another topic:
“Gina u askedhat kind of sick fuckswell ur answr is sikh fucks when it comes to women sikhs r sick.”
Rakesh Sood on Justice for Jassi? A Pyrrhic Consolation?, Monday, May 24, 2010 at 12:29 am
Khalsa Panth, as far as I can tell, this blog has no interest in promoting or championing Sikhs and Sikhism – their only motive seems to be to create controversy so that they get more hit, full stop.
my my, this debate is even hotter than the Punjabi Zubane one, and yes what do the ladies think? Are the bloggers only male?
http://www.apnaorg.com/
As can be seen on this link, many of our cultural attitudes are Punjabi, which often contradict Sikh Rehit or Sikhs Scriptures….fact is the men can accept a woman from another faith, community join ours, but can't do the same if a woman goes outside…if the girl here is not Amritdhari, then she should have avoided wearing the pugg ( he is not wearing the hasidic headdress) which has worked up the males and their chauvenism..
my my, this debate is even hotter than the Punjabi Zubane one, and yes what do the ladies think? Are the bloggers only male?
http://www.apnaorg.com/
As can be seen on this link, many of our cultural attitudes are Punjabi, which often contradict Sikh Rehit or Sikhs Scriptures….fact is the men can accept a woman from another faith, community join ours, but can't do the same if a woman goes outside…if the girl here is not Amritdhari, then she should have avoided wearing the pugg ( he is not wearing the hasidic headdress) which has worked up the males and their chauvenism..
Anyway 1 point is still not clear Why this story is posted on this blog? there is nothing special in the story except the fact that a dastardhari sikh woman married a jew
Will the bloggers post a story where a sikh woman marry boy whose name is Jamshed Khan or Jairam? There are many sikh men and women that marry outside
religion daily .Will the Langarhall bloggers post those stories by calling them nice
Anyway 1 point is still not clear Why this story is posted on this blog? there is nothing special in the story except the fact that a dastardhari sikh woman married a jew
Will the bloggers post a story where a sikh woman marry boy whose name is Jamshed Khan or Jairam? There are many sikh men and women that marry outside
religion daily .Will the Langarhall bloggers post those stories by calling them nice
Bet they do. Just because something has the word Sikh or Punjabi in it, does not make it important.
The 17 guys in jail in Dubai, is important. Who marries who, is not
This is more interesting….
http://www.apnaorg.com/articles/subhash-1/
Bet they do. Just because something has the word Sikh or Punjabi in it, does not make it important.
The 17 guys in jail in Dubai, is important. Who marries who, is not
This is more interesting….
http://www.apnaorg.com/articles/subhash-1/
In practice it is different to raise kids with one faith then a.combination of two. It well and good to make a statement about the power of keeping your faith no matter who you marry, but actual relationships don't work that easy many times. No problem, the people who get worked up by the behavior of others are putting themselves in trouble but its just not the.case the rest of us.have to accept bland generalizations. Marrying within a faith is usually a more direct way to continue traditions, if that's important.
In practice it is different to raise kids with one faith then a.combination of two. It well and good to make a statement about the power of keeping your faith no matter who you marry, but actual relationships don’t work that easy many times. No problem, the people who get worked up by the behavior of others are putting themselves in trouble but its just not the.case the rest of us.have to accept bland generalizations. Marrying within a faith is usually a more direct way to continue traditions, if that’s important.
I understand where these comments are coming from but only god can judge. I think that people shouldn't judge this girl, especially if you know nothing about her.
I am glad that she found somebody that she truly loves and I hope she instills our Sikh religion in her children
I understand where these comments are coming from but only god can judge. I think that people shouldn't judge this girl, especially if you know nothing about her.
I am glad that she found somebody that she truly loves and I hope she instills our Sikh religion in her children
May Waheguru and Abraham bless the couple so that they find happiness and fullflment in the journey ahead of them of life.
They look such a beautiful couple,
May Waheguru and Abraham bless the couple so that they find happiness and fullflment in the journey ahead of them of life.
They look such a beautiful couple,
Personally, if they are happy that is great. What else have we learned from the qissas of Punjab, if not love comes first?
That said this is an article that should not have been posted about, in the context it was
Why are all the women silent?
Looks like this is as contraversial as the Punjabi Zubane arguement, except this time the posters are our youth
Personally, if they are happy that is great. What else have we learned from the qissas of Punjab, if not love comes first?
That said this is an article that should not have been posted about, in the context it was
Why are all the women silent?
Looks like this is as contraversial as the Punjabi Zubane arguement, except this time the posters are our youth
I don't think anyone on TLH posted the story to encourage Sikhs to marry outside the community. They saw a dastaar-wearing Sikh sister in the New York Times, and it caught their eye (I'm guessing) – And when you actually watch the video, you see how in love these two are. Isn't it nice just to see love? I think that's why Jodha called it "just a nice story".
I don't think the bloggers here are trying to discourage anyone from marrying outside the community. But in a world where we are all searching for our soulmates, all looking for love, if someone found another person that loves them and also, not only respects their Sikhi, but protects it, can't we just wish them well and pray they live a happy life together? Why wish ill upon anyone? "Hum nahi changay, buraa nahi koay." If you truly believe in Waheguru's Hukam, and that we all live under it, isn't it possible that their love is a God-Given blessing to both of them in a package that neither of them expected?
@KDS – yes it's natural for many to assume that because she is a woman wearing a dastaar she is amritdhari, but this jumping to conclusions is a huge problem amongst our people. We need to break out of that cycle.
I don't think anyone on TLH posted the story to encourage Sikhs to marry outside the community. They saw a dastaar-wearing Sikh sister in the New York Times, and it caught their eye (I'm guessing) – And when you actually watch the video, you see how in love these two are. Isn't it nice just to see love? I think that's why Jodha called it "just a nice story".
I don't think the bloggers here are trying to discourage anyone from marrying outside the community. But in a world where we are all searching for our soulmates, all looking for love, if someone found another person that loves them and also, not only respects their Sikhi, but protects it, can't we just wish them well and pray they live a happy life together? Why wish ill upon anyone? "Hum nahi changay, buraa nahi koay." If you truly believe in Waheguru's Hukam, and that we all live under it, isn't it possible that their love is a God-Given blessing to both of them in a package that neither of them expected?
@KDS – yes it's natural for many to assume that because she is a woman wearing a dastaar she is amritdhari, but this jumping to conclusions is a huge problem amongst our people. We need to break out of that cycle.
What would have happened if a sikh boy had decided to marry agirl of another faith,bet u no one would even bat an eye.Just goes to show intolerant attitude twards women.
Yes being in love is great and men and women should both have the freedom to make their own choices. Yes our stories refer to love against odds and Punjabi culture in the past made a woman's sexuality a constrained space. But if you want to preserve traditions marrying within a faith community is significant . Especially if your faith is a minority faith, the need to reconsile two faiths can pose problems. Not to mention on the positive side the couple that understands their culture become more proficient in their cultural knowledge. Those are just some of the factors. A community that allows people to make free choices is a healthier community overall
What would have happened if a sikh boy had decided to marry agirl of another faith,bet u no one would even bat an eye.Just goes to show intolerant attitude twards women.
Yes being in love is great and men and women should both have the freedom to make their own choices. Yes our stories refer to love against odds and Punjabi culture in the past made a woman’s sexuality a constrained space. But if you want to preserve traditions marrying within a faith community is significant . Especially if your faith is a minority faith, the need to reconsile two faiths can pose problems. Not to mention on the positive side the couple that understands their culture become more proficient in their cultural knowledge. Those are just some of the factors. A community that allows people to make free choices is a healthier community overall
You know every single Sikh here that knows the first thing about Sikhism has simply stated that an amritdhari Sikh can only marry an amritdhari Sikh. As usual, those that wouldn't know Sikhism even if it jumped up and bit them on the bum and so have no idea as to its gender equality, then start playing the false gender equality card by claiming that people are only talking about her choice of marriage because she is a woman. There's very little one can say to those people. If they don't know the gender equality of Sikhi by now they never will. Sikhi doesn't care if she is a she or a he. An amritdhari is an amritdhari regardless of gender and they same rules apply to both. Neither can marry a non-sikh.
Now, someone here has stated that the bride in question is in fact NOT an amritdhari. we have to assume that she knows the lady personally and take her word for it. I think therefore this is a valid story for this blog. It's extremely interesting because we have, after all, found the one and only Sikh woman on planet earth that wears an amritdhari dastar but (apparently) is not amritdhari.
You know every single Sikh here that knows the first thing about Sikhism has simply stated that an amritdhari Sikh can only marry an amritdhari Sikh. As usual, those that wouldn't know Sikhism even if it jumped up and bit them on the bum and so have no idea as to its gender equality, then start playing the false gender equality card by claiming that people are only talking about her choice of marriage because she is a woman. There's very little one can say to those people. If they don't know the gender equality of Sikhi by now they never will. Sikhi doesn't care if she is a she or a he. An amritdhari is an amritdhari regardless of gender and they same rules apply to both. Neither can marry a non-sikh.
Now, someone here has stated that the bride in question is in fact NOT an amritdhari. we have to assume that she knows the lady personally and take her word for it. I think therefore this is a valid story for this blog. It's extremely interesting because we have, after all, found the one and only Sikh woman on planet earth that wears an amritdhari dastar but (apparently) is not amritdhari.
Awesome… ridiculousness !!
First, nice idea for a punjabi to marry a jewish person – pooling of brains and brawns (j/king)
Second, on one hand, Ms. S exhibited uber liberal attitude in tying the knot with Mr. J and on the other she is trying to comfort her "traditional sikh family" by supporting a turban. I guess this was her repressed revolt. Feel happy and sorry for her.
As regards the issue of Amrtidhari marrying a non-amrtidhari/non-sikh, I will be very amazed if it turns out that Guru's dictated matrimonial alliances for Sikhs. People get confused when in their myopic rational analysis they start to look at Sikhism like Islam and Christianity. Sikhism is not a religion modeled like Christianity, there is no missionary component to it, it is a spiritual philosophy which you may or may not follow. Not a good idea to see Sikh thriough the same lens as Islam or Christianity – only plays to the advantage of granthis and political leaders
There were thousands of hindu families who raised their eldest son as a Sikh – now who should have these dudes married ? Who did the unmarried khalsas of Guru Gobind Singh marry ?
Awesome… ridiculousness !!
First, nice idea for a punjabi to marry a jewish person – pooling of brains and brawns (j/king)
Second, on one hand, Ms. S exhibited uber liberal attitude in tying the knot with Mr. J and on the other she is trying to comfort her "traditional sikh family" by supporting a turban. I guess this was her repressed revolt. Feel happy and sorry for her.
As regards the issue of Amrtidhari marrying a non-amrtidhari/non-sikh, I will be very amazed if it turns out that Guru's dictated matrimonial alliances for Sikhs. People get confused when in their myopic rational analysis they start to look at Sikhism like Islam and Christianity. Sikhism is not a religion modeled like Christianity, there is no missionary component to it, it is a spiritual philosophy which you may or may not follow. Not a good idea to see Sikh thriough the same lens as Islam or Christianity – only plays to the advantage of granthis and political leaders
There were thousands of hindu families who raised their eldest son as a Sikh – now who should have these dudes married ? Who did the unmarried khalsas of Guru Gobind Singh marry ?
A story of two people in love is always a nice one. When two people happen to be from different backgrounds – religious, social, cultural, whatever – greater their differences, greater is the appreciation of their love. For in their case, in the absence of 'compatible background factors' to establish a common ground to tread on, they might have had to rely more on discovering and connecting with the 'core' of the other person. And if that requires dating, well, datred is better than hatred.
To an extent, I can understand the anger some community members might be experiencing at Sona's decision to marry a non-Sikh. The Sikh community does have higher expectations from Amrtidharis than from non-Amrtidharis and they have reasons for it.
However, I agree with PrincessKaur that we are jumping the gun by assuming Sona is an Amrtidhari. "I am Sona Rai," says Sona in the video. It would be hard to think of Amritdharis leaving out the Kaur / Singhs from their middle name (if not ideally the last name).
Rather than snorting and stamping the ground and shaking our finger and fuming "how dare she?", let us welcome them and wish them a happy married life, and to our sister Sona we wish a journey of learning and being such that, hopefully in the next video we might get to hear her say, "I am Sona Kaur …."
Give Jodha a break. Don't determine for him or her what he or she should write on this blog. If you passionately care about some issue and believe it deserves more attention than this story, then you are free to write about that issue, either on this blog as a guest writer, or on your own blog that you can create for free in just a few seconds. All ye who dictate us bloggers (yes, I am one too) what we should write and not write about on our blogs, I say, go take a walk, it is good for health.
Love. We need more of it. More videos and stories about it. Even if it happens to be 'just a nice story'. There is too much hatred spewing in the world, in the comments sections of many blogs, and in relationships.
If one can't shower blessings on a young couple, the least one can do is not shower brickbats on them either.
A story of two people in love is always a nice one. When two people happen to be from different backgrounds – religious, social, cultural, whatever – greater their differences, greater is the appreciation of their love. For in their case, in the absence of 'compatible background factors' to establish a common ground to tread on, they might have had to rely more on discovering and connecting with the 'core' of the other person. And if that requires dating, well, datred is better than hatred.
To an extent, I can understand the anger some community members might be experiencing at Sona's decision to marry a non-Sikh. The Sikh community does have higher expectations from Amrtidharis than from non-Amrtidharis and they have reasons for it.
However, I agree with PrincessKaur that we are jumping the gun by assuming Sona is an Amrtidhari. "I am Sona Rai," says Sona in the video. It would be hard to think of Amritdharis leaving out the Kaur / Singhs from their middle name (if not ideally the last name).
Rather than snorting and stamping the ground and shaking our finger and fuming "how dare she?", let us welcome them and wish them a happy married life, and to our sister Sona we wish a journey of learning and being such that, hopefully in the next video we might get to hear her say, "I am Sona Kaur …."
Give Jodha a break. Don't determine for him or her what he or she should write on this blog. If you passionately care about some issue and believe it deserves more attention than this story, then you are free to write about that issue, either on this blog as a guest writer, or on your own blog that you can create for free in just a few seconds. All ye who dictate us bloggers (yes, I am one too) what we should write and not write about on our blogs, I say, go take a walk, it is good for health.
Love. We need more of it. More videos and stories about it. Even if it happens to be 'just a nice story'. There is too much hatred spewing in the world, in the comments sections of many blogs, and in relationships.
If one can't shower blessings on a young couple, the least one can do is not shower brickbats on them either.
I am hugely disappointed in TLH for posting such a story. So now it's ok for Dastar wearing girls to marry out of the faith? By posting this story you are supporting this. For the posters who don't have a clue what Sikhi is, please go and get an education as Sikhi is not some new age airy fairy belief system where anything goes just because 'we don't want to hurt anyones feelings'. Rehat clearly states Amritdhari should marry Amritdhari. The people who have a problem with this lady would also have a problem if an Amritdhari Singh married a non-Sikh female with cut hair. If you are an Amritdhari you represent Sikhi and anything you do has a bearing on Sikhi. That's why the Guru said 'Khalsa mero roop ho khaas' All the non-Amritdhari Sikhs look at Amritdharis to set an example. No body would bat any eyelid if a non-Amritdhari married a non-Sikh but Amritdharis have made a commitment to the Guru and when they shamefacedly become bemukh and parade their lack of commitment on the web then Sikhs will take them to task over it.
I hope Jodha will apologise to the readers of this blog and to the other members of TLH, please understand that being 'progressive' does not mean you become PC idiots applauding any Sikh who breaks their rehat or rebels against their family.