Some Notes and Random Musings

Guestblogged by Mewa Singh.

Here are some general musings and broader notes/reflections that were sparked by my participation in the camp:

On Parenting – One thing I found quite interesting was changes in parenting styles.  I don’t remember having had many choices as a child, when my parents were going to put their foot down, and it seems my own parents confirm this.  With the camp, I noticed we had so many parents expressed their desire for their sons to attend, only to begin avoiding our calls as the date approached and telling us our son doesn’t want to go.  Many of the same parents often complained – our son doesn’t listen to us and just watches TV all day.  I was left wondering, how do these children have the choice?  A parent has the ability to parent and limit the child’s television viewing, if they so desire.  A parent is not helpless to say our child doesn’t listen so we must accept the status quo.  Many parents desire to be the ‘friend’ of their child, or be the ‘good guy/gal’ and never say ‘no.’  With so many of my friends young parents, I wonder how they will be setting boundaries.

On Consumerism – Now members of our community are part of the broader society and one would hardly expect larger sociological issues such as consumerism to not affect us.  Still the degrees seem far more now than in my youth.  I remember kids having and even getting beat up and their shoes stolen if they had the latest Jordans.  With 13-year olds having iPhones, 16-year olds getting BMWs for their birthdays (Jodha had a reflection on this some time ago), and wardrobe prices that went far beyond our $15 jeans from Marshalls, I wonder what are we teaching our children?  Ask parents to send their children to a Sikh workshop or even Punjabi/Khalsa school at their Gurdwara and parents will begin about fees being far too high.  What do we actually value and what do we wish to teach our children to value?

On Portions – I came from a Punjabi household, where my mom always wanted me to eat one more roti.  We didn’t eat out much.  Pizza, once every 2 weeks, was to be celebrated.  Kids eat out much more than they use to and the fat, sugar, and salt contents in rich restaurant foods are far more than in the past.  Seeing the rising levels of childhood obesity in the US in general, the Gurdwara is far from the sanctuary.  With the young men of the academy, we had a conversation around food and the need to limit portions.  For every child it was the first time they had ever had that conversation.  Truth be told, even I never reflected on it until after my undergraduate career, but I wonder if in all of our households such a conversation about portions (not just limiting their portions) may be important.

On Canada – One of the most interesting dynamics in our community is the belief in huge regional distinctions.  When we first announced the camp, immediately we were told to do it in Canada.  Even Canadian parents (especially from BC) reached out about how they would love to have their children attend.  Due to our own regional constraints and belief that only in California, where the Jakara Movement, has its roots throughout the state, would we be able to maintain regular contact with the first group of young men, we decided to accept only California residents.  In the future, we are considering having the program up in Whistler, but for the time being California will be home.  While certain manifestations of violence are unique to B.C., I don’t believe that the phenomenon of cliques and petty criminal elements are.  In fact the violence we see in our community is ubiquitous to wherever Punjabis are found.  People often demonize other Sikh communities without realizing that most problems are seen anywhere our communities are found.  We are generally from the same homeland and many immigrant issues faced are not very distinct from one another.

I’m sure I have plenty more, but we’ll leave it here for now.