Sikh Identity: Separate but Equal?
Guest blogged by Birpal Kaur
Over this past weekend there was an article published in the Los Angeles Times of the experiences of Sikh women and maintaining kesh. This article addresses the journey and relationship with kesh, looking at societal pressures as well as a personal journey, and in this case, it happened to be my journey. The article idea was born out of a series of conversations I had with a reporter with the LA Times. I would also like to reiterate that this article is not about me as a representative of any Sikh organization I am part of.
Most of the feedback I have received has been complimentary, though some has been accusatory and judgmental. For all the commentary: Thank you for time, the words, and the emotions—whether I agree with it or not. My major concern, however, does not come from the extremely personal nature of the story you read, it comes from the fact that I felt misrepresented, and the issue highlighted was misrepresented. The last 48 hours or so I have been thinking about why, and that is what I would like to share.
My major concern is that the entire concept of hair removal is framed around men and marriage. This is problematic. Whereas the overall idea of double-standards concerning men and women is not a new one—I do not believe that there is only one person, or gender to blame. Perhaps it is what manifests as the topical problem, but the issues around hair removal and Sikh women are not, and should not be limited to this scope. My journey and struggles with my kesh seem to be conveniently minimized to be about men. The androcentric way that the issue of hair removal solely exists in a space with men and marriage is demeaning and incorrect as a reflection of my personal journey.
15 Responses to “Sikh Identity: Separate but Equal?”
Wow Birpal, this is such beautiful and profound writing. Thank you for sharing! We hear a lot about external threats to Sikhi, but I believe the biggest threat to us is us–I think we diminish Sikhi every time we use it to judge, control, or disempower (because it did at one point, empower) each other. Be it women vs men, kesh vs non, brown vs gora, etc. The more we use it as a tool for oppression, the more people will turn away from it. If there is hope, it starts with trying to understand each other through sharing our experiences like this.
Most of us grew up with enough privilege to have parents that paid enough attention to us to recognize something different in attitude, in our bodies, and our hearts.
Sorry, I meant to say this line was profound. loved it. And i agree with ur perspective, the hair issue is about feeling comfortable in your own skin foremost and the struggle for that.
Why do Sikh men wear turbans and Sikh women (generally) do not?
^ I think there's a growing realisation among young Sikh women, especially around here in London, that they are also supposed to wear a turban. There is, however, a distinct difference between the various different 'groups' (formerly castes) of Sikhs. For instance, around these parts, among the urban khatri Sikhs and ramgharia Sikhs, there is a pride that 90% of their men don't cut their hair and have turbans. However, 99% of their wives have shortish cut hair. This is because these groups, unlike many jatt women, believe the khalsa identity of Sikhs is only for the men. It doesn't apply to women. Really the whole thing is becoming a farce. I've even seen so many amritdhari jatt women with turbans but with their eyeline and face clearly waxed or had electronic hair removal done…..not to mention alot of make-up. Thats because their 'jatha' approves of such things. Quite clearly, around here, the wearing of turbans among women has become a fashion fad more than serious spirituality. These girls see every one of their muslim south asian friends and colleagues wearing the hijab and its almost become the normal thing to do with the non-covered female standing out like a freak. But with the pakistani girls, although the hair is covered, they have a religious and cultural duty to 'beautify' themselves with some serious fashion and styles. The Sikh girls see that and think it must be the same with sikhi…i.e as long as they don't cut the hair on their head and wear a turban anything else goes. Its not like that though. Its serious difficult to be a real sikh woman. If I was a women…….which I most definately ain't……I don't think I could live up to the ideal. For a man, the facial hair can be a positive in society…..but it takes real guts and pain for a woman to sport the same.
What is the basis of this 'caste analysis'? I also see nothing wrong with the hijab as a representation of what may be achieved.
Considering make up, naturelle, etc. – religion is a journey, and maybe that (just like beard trimming amongst men) may be grown out of (no pun intended!) as the faith truly grows from within. As long as one is not hypocritical to others on that same journey, that is.
I am a little confused. Waheguru pls help
[Edited by Admin. Maybe you should read our comment policy]
@Rajinder Sharma So maybe women should wear plumes and feathers that might help, Rajinder is on to something here. You are extremely intelligent.
[…] the tone of the L.A. times piece. In Birpal Kaur’s rebuttal post on The Langar Hall, “Separate But Equal,” she explores this cultural double standard; Sikh males aren’t warned that Sikh women […]
[…] Today! http://thelangarhall.com/sikhi/sikh-…ate-but-equal/ Guest blogged by Birpal Kaur Over this past weekend there was an article published in the Los […]
@Birpal Kaur Wow, I find it extremely offensive that you posted your personal insecurities regarding Sikhism on a major newspaper.
Anonymous it was not insecurities with Sikhi if you chose to actually pay attention to the article. It was the insecurities with dealing with the world and the relationship you have with your guru. Also I do not think Birpal Kaur is the only girl who faces this issue, so talking about it on a such a public level takes some guts. Any Sikh male or female has issues with trying to keep their head above water in this world and trying to connect with the divine (so not just hair). And honestly if you do not you probably are perfect and pagh salute to you bro/sis. The path of a Sikh is not an easy path and we may mess up, this woman had the courage to tell people about how she messed up and to talk about on a major news paper. So honestly please do not sit here with your self righteousness and tell her how you are offended. I'm offended that you're offended.
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Replying to Blighty Singh,
I also even saw urban sikh girls doing every type of fashion even cutting hair but male members in their family wear turban and keep beard and tie it always. But what is the use of saying that urban Khatri sikhs are real sikhs and Jatt sikhs are not real sikhs only beacuse they are clean shaven.You cannot claim to be real sikhs only if your male members tie turban and maintain beard.
I am not offending the girls, but the point is what sort of sikhism these parents are preaching when they don''t allow their boys to pluck a single hair from beard. Only thing is if one of your children is doing every type of fashion then why forcing the other not to do it. Was the teachings of gurus not applied to girls and only to boys.
Further…. want to know if any Sikh boy has asked his parents about this discrimination and what weird explanation they would give to him.
Awaiting answers from these families……