Pimp My Punjabi Phone

Our phones have become an extension of our bodies. Walk around outside and you’ll see the dawn of the blue-tooth era with the masses walking and having conversations with everybody, but the people that are actually physically near them. Seeking to capitalize on the trend, phone companies seem to sell us everything but themuslim_phone.jpg actual plan. You can buy wallpapers, ringtones, and other superfluous things to ‘pimp your phone.’

In the ongoing process of religious commoditization, many faith-based entrepreneurs are peddling faith-based phones. Mike Elgan, a writer for Computerworld, has recently asked, “What religion has the best mobile phone?

Which of the world’s greatest religions, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism and Judaism (listed in order of size), has the world’s greatest mobile phone?

While researching this article, I was unable to find a single Christian, Hindu or Sikh mobile phone. I’m not saying they’re not out there somewhere, just that I’m “agnostic” on the point. I just don’t know.

Returning to Elgan’s competition, surveying the religious phone-landscape he notes the following about the 3rd place Jewish or “Kosher” phone:

Here’s the best part. The “Kosher phone” offers steeply discounted per-minute charges when calling another “Kosher phone.” But it will cost you a whopping US$2.44 a minute for calls placed on the Sabbath. To the best of my knowledge, Mirs Communications is the only wireless carrier in the world that uses its pricing structure to punish deviation from one of the Ten Commandments.

The 2nd place Muslim phone is much snazzier:

There are several Muslim mobile phones available in various countries. The best I’ve found is made by a Singapore-based company called Ilkone Asia. Called the Ilkone I-800, the phone not only plays its own “call to prayer” at the appropriate times, but points toward Mecca and plays recorded prayers over the speakerphone.

The phone also comes with the full text of the Quran in both Arabic and English.

But this still pales in comparison to the 1st place Buddhist phone:

The phone is reportedly gold-plated, and contains a piece of jade called the “Buddha video button.” When you press it, you can watch a Buddhist video. Another embedded jade piece lies on the back in the middle of the speaker, and is just for decoration. The back has an embossed image of the Buddha. It plays classic Buddhist music and 12 sutras. The battery, stylus — even the little door that provides access to the removable media card — are all adorned in Chinese Buddhist style.

Now every other Punjabi Sikh I know seems to have the latest bhangra song as their ringtone. While the Kirtan variety ringtone is probably less common, I have no doubt that it exists. My father has the ever-annoying chimta-filled “Ucha Dar Baba Nanak Da”, so I guess that falls in the liminal space of Punjabi devotional music.

What ringtones do you have? And building from Elgan’s argument, I throw out at all of you — what would a Sikh phone do?


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12 Responses to “Pimp My Punjabi Phone”

  1. Phulkari says:

    It's funny and annoying when people don't turn their cell-phones to vibrate/silent in Gurdwara and all of sudden during kathaa or ardas you hear, "Billoo Raniaa"!

    I think a Sikh phone's opening tune would be "Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh" followed by a jakara when you first turn your phone on. It would include pre-packaged keertan and popular Punjabi devotional music ring-tones. It would be pimped out in gold with silver gems outlining it. There would be a silver/blue Ik-Onkar on the back and a Khandha on the front. The wall-paper would consist of women and men in Sikh history along with the Gurujis and other pieces of Sikh Art. You would have free access to Gurbani and the Rehat Maryada.

  2. Phulkari says:

    It’s funny and annoying when people don’t turn their cell-phones to vibrate/silent in Gurdwara and all of sudden during kathaa or ardas you hear, “Billoo Raniaa”!

    I think a Sikh phone’s opening tune would be “Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh” followed by a jakara when you first turn your phone on. It would include pre-packaged keertan and popular Punjabi devotional music ring-tones. It would be pimped out in gold with silver gems outlining it. There would be a silver/blue Ik-Onkar on the back and a Khandha on the front. The wall-paper would consist of women and men in Sikh history along with the Gurujis and other pieces of Sikh Art. You would have free access to Gurbani and the Rehat Maryada.

  3. kprincess says:

    A Sikh phone wouldn't end up at a dump site in a poor country where the little kids pick it apart to extract the precious metals to make some money while it pollutes their water and exposes them to toxics.

    A Sikh phone should be environmentally and socially conscious. Not merely set up to make money off of religion. So I suppose Sikhi shouldn't end at the ringtone or features of a phone, it should go beyond that.

    There are some phone companies out there that are socially conscious. I would consider their phones to be in line w/ the values that are considered important in Sikhi. Even if their phones lack the Kirtan or other religious features.

  4. kprincess says:

    The phone is reportedly gold-plated, and contains a piece of jade called the “Buddha video button.”

    how ironic that Buddha let go of all the wealth in the world to find God, but now it seems like you have to be wealthy and buy an expensive phone to find God.

  5. kprincess says:

    A Sikh phone wouldn’t end up at a dump site in a poor country where the little kids pick it apart to extract the precious metals to make some money while it pollutes their water and exposes them to toxics.

    A Sikh phone should be environmentally and socially conscious. Not merely set up to make money off of religion. So I suppose Sikhi shouldn’t end at the ringtone or features of a phone, it should go beyond that.

    There are some phone companies out there that are socially conscious. I would consider their phones to be in line w/ the values that are considered important in Sikhi. Even if their phones lack the Kirtan or other religious features.

  6. kprincess says:

    The phone is reportedly gold-plated, and contains a piece of jade called the “Buddha video button.”

    how ironic that Buddha let go of all the wealth in the world to find God, but now it seems like you have to be wealthy and buy an expensive phone to find God.

  7. Camille says:

    how ironic that Buddha let go of all the wealth in the world to find God, but now it seems like you have to be wealthy and buy an expensive phone to find God.

    I was thinking the EXACT same thing! A little ironic, no?

    I don't know, personally, if I would be comfortable with a "Sikh" phone that blasted kirtan as a ring tone.

  8. Camille says:

    how ironic that Buddha let go of all the wealth in the world to find God, but now it seems like you have to be wealthy and buy an expensive phone to find God.

    I was thinking the EXACT same thing! A little ironic, no?

    I don’t know, personally, if I would be comfortable with a “Sikh” phone that blasted kirtan as a ring tone.

  9. insomnia mp3 says:

    Hmm…this is very interesting. I wrote a piece a while back on a company called Reputation Defender

  10. insomnia mp3 says:

    Hmm…this is very interesting. I wrote a piece a while back on a company called Reputation Defender

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  12. John Smith says:

    I think a Sikh phone's opening tune would be "Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh" followed by a jakara when you first turn your phone on. It would include pre-packaged keertan and popular Punjabi devotional music ring-tones. It would be pimped out in gold with silver gems outlining it. There would be a silver/blue Ik-Onkar on the back and a Khandha on the front. The wall-paper would consist of women and men in Sikh history along with the Gurujis and other pieces of Sikh Art. You would have free access to Gurbani and the Rehat Maryada.
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