“Barter” marriages are not uncommon. My grandfather’s generation did it in Punjab because it was wise to marry two sisters to two brothers; particularly, if the family was large or wealthy. My parents’ generation did it through the “middle-person” during family negotiations in an effort to bring more relatives abroad.
What is uncommon in our generation is that “bartering” is very upfront. It is included in matrimonial ads along with height, skin complexion, and age.
Raveena Aulakh reports for the Toronto Star that some families abroad are pressured and guilted by relatives in India to figure out a way to bring their children to Canada. Siblings in Canada are accused of not wanting their nieces and nephews to have a good life. The only resort left is to run a matrimonial ad requesting a “barter” for their children or nieces/nephews in prominent Punjabi newspapers.
Aulakh writes about Jaspal Singh, a cab driver in Vancouver, who was guilted into running such an ad by his brother in India.
Finally, Singh agreed to place an ad for his own 21-year-old son and 20-year-old daughter in hopes someone, somewhere would reciprocate with Canadian matches for his niece and nephew in India.
It is not only a long shot, it is also unethical, Singh admits. He says he has told his kids he will not force them to do something they are not ready for and that weddings would take place only after they have met their prospective partners and are ready.
He has paid for the ads to run for four weeks. If things do not fall into place by then, Singh says he has no intention of following up with more ads. “How long can you do it? I will not force them to get married for the sake of it.”
Singh knows it will put a strain on his relationship with his brother, and is already dreading that conversation.
Two articles over the weekend got me thinking. I’ll get to them soon enough. Be patient!
The issues aren’t new. I remember back to the late 1990s, when the community here in the Bay Area was moving to build the new San Jose Gurdwara. The Evergreen community protested and raised the typical objections – traffic, architecture that doesn’t ‘fit’ into the community, and sometimes the ‘undesirable neighbors’ argument.
Wherever Sikhs try to build something, these three arguments follow. The latest case…..Southall?
Earlier this week in B.C., hundreds of Sikhs protested the arrival of Mann Singh Pehowa, a granthi accused of rape, misconduct, and blasphemy.
There is, of course, an underlying issue here regarding whether or not Pehowa supports his own dera, has encouraged blasphemy, etc. There is pretty widespread criticism of him, as an individual, as well as of his behavior. I do not want to use this opportunity to get into the nitty gritty of deras and blasphemy, but rather, to focus on the issue of religion and exploitation.
Earlier in the year, Sundari discussed sexual assault in the context of a larger community-level failure to ensure gender equity. Sexual abuse is not new to faith communities, but it evokes jarring feelings of betrayal, condemnation, and deep psychological trauma, both among those who are abused and among their loved ones.
It is often said that a revolution begins not with the sword but with the pen. However, last Friday night in a packed banquet hall in the Toronto suburb of Malton, I witnessed a revolution begin with the microphone.
At an event entitled “When Lions Roar”, fantastically organized by the Sikh Activist Network, one young artist after another got on to the mike and paid homage to the lives destroyed in 1984. I was blown away by the talent and passion displayed by the performers. Through the art of spoken word, music, and action, each of the 26 acts put a different face on the impact of June 1984. They were all unique in their perspective, but all shared one common thread: 1984 is just too important to forget.
Over 1000 people gathered to attend the 4+ hour event. They covered the entire spectrum of Sikh life. This was not your typical retreat and kirtan crowd. In fact, the diversity of performers and audience has challenged me to rethink my stereotypes about who cares about 1984 and the future of the Sikh panth. Individuals that I would have never suspected of having even a passing interest in Sikhi or the Sikh community, would come up to the mike and speak with such energy, insight and emotion. They often reduced me to tears. And most amazing was the fact that almost all of them weren’t even alive in June 1984.
For a thirty-something guy like me who has always considered myself part of the “youth”, it was indeed a little bit humbling to realize that, while I’d probably still be the youngest guy at a Youth Akali Dal meeting, I’m now probably a generation or two above the youngest Sikh leaders. Which means me and my fellow Generation X-ers need to spend less time trying to do it all ourselves, and more time using our resources to enable the next wave of younger Sikhs to establish their own voice and institutions. We were the first generation coming through the diaspora, with little support from our elders. However, we can make it easier on our younger brothers and sisters. We can provide them seed funding to start their dreams, connect them those that can help them along the path, and help coach them through their challenges.
As you’ll see from the videos and photos, the next generation has indeed stepped up, their language of change is hip-hop and I think they’re gonna be alright.
Click through for videos and pictures.
He locked the washroom door, unravelled the nine-metre turban, took a pair of scissors and started cutting. Ten minutes later, three feet of hair lay in a pile and Charanbir Singh sat down and cried.
Outside, his parents and grandmother were in tears. Two friends persuaded him to come out, but Charanbir, his head wrapped in a towel, rushed to his room.
That was a year ago. Charanbir, now 17, still shudders at the memory. “I had to cut my hair.” (Link)
One of ironies of life in the 21st century western world is that despite an unparalleled degree of freedom of religion, the majority of people seem to be opting for freedom from religion.
Last week, Raveena Aulakh, a reporter from the Toronto Star, put a Canadian twist on the worldwide issue of apostasy amongst Sikh Youth.
Sikhism dates back to 15th-century India. Adherents are required to not cut their hair, considered a visible testament to their connection with their creator. The turban was adopted to manage long hair and make Sikhs easily identifiable.
For many young men in Greater Toronto, that is the problem: They don’t want to stand out.
Like other new or second-generation immigrants, many Sikh youngsters are desperate to fit in with the school crowd, while others complain of racism because they wear the turban. Add to that cultural influences, peer pressure and the desire to assimilate.
The end result? Many youngsters cut their hair, leading to family friction and, in some cases, lasting estrangement.
As a counterpoint, in the article and video above, Pardeep Singh Nagra (of boxing fame) presents his thoughts on why he’s decided to keep his hair.
Fear & Guilt
I’ve often wondered why so many Sikh youth keep their hair through high school but cut it as soon as they feel free from their parent’s control? From my perspective I see this as symptomatic of a great challenge facing Sikhs around the world today. Somehow, someway, we have fallen into the trap of pushing Sikhi to the next generation with fear and guilt, rather than sharing Sikhi through love.
Take your typical Sikh family; actually take mine. My now 25 year old cousin in Punjab had wanted to cut his hair since he was a teenager but two things stopped him. He was afraid that if he cut his hair his dad would beat him and then disown him. Secondly, he knew that if he did get a haircut and shave he wouldn’t be able to look his crying mom in the eye.
Unfortunately, there was little positive reinforcement around Sikhi in his life. Sure there was Sikhi by osmosis: visiting Gurdwaras, gurbani playing in the background, the odd sakhi told by our visiting grandfather. However, my cousin had little exposure to the aspects of Sikhi (nitnem, kirtan, seva, simran) that would have connected him with his faith on a deeper level. Most of the discussions with his parents were a flavour of the famous Goodness Gracious Me clip. So not surprisingly, upon entering college, he too cut his hair. And sure enough, he became our family’s black sheep, making a kid with already low self-esteem, feel even worse.
For those that follow The Langar Hall, Ruby Dhalla is no stranger to our coverage on Canadian politics. Whether it be on our list of Sikh MPs throughout the world, a Sikh Barack Obama, a horrible beating that is symptomatic of the nightmare that is the Punjab Police, or even attendance at NRI Punjabi conference, she has found mention.
In this post, she becomes the focus. Since last week after the Star published a story, Ruby Dhalla, the Liberal Member of Parliament, representing Brampton-Springdale, has been on the receiving end of a flood of media criticism for the following allegations
[Immigrant home care-givers] claimed that they earned $250 a week working 12- to 16-hour days at the Dhalla family home, that Dhalla herself had seized their passports and that other family members made them wash cars, shovel snow and clean chiropractic clinics owned by the family. [link]
The Canadian press has had a field day and has likened the case to the controversy that led to Eliot Spitzer’s resignation as the governor of New York due to his relationship with a prostitute after being seen as a ‘moralizer.’ Ruby Dhalla has been known to champion immigrant rights issues and women and thus it is for this reason that the allegations have been such damning.
It seems like Canada is showcasing one socially conscious Sikh rapper after another. TLH has covered “Humble The Poet” and now here is “Sikh Knowledge” from Montreal. Sikh Knowledge raps with Lotus on issues effecting the 2nd generation and marginalized peoples.
Kanwar Anit Singh Saini, a.k.a. Sikh Knowledge, is the son of Punjabi Sikh immigrants. He works in the field of speech pathology where he contributes his musical knowledge to the health sciences field.
Check out his songs below and let us know what you think!
Disclaimer: There are graphic descriptions and swear words in the videos below.
Its been a good year so far for Sikhs and Canadian sports. First, we’ve had NHL regular season and playoff games broadcast in Punjabi. We’ve also the first NBA game broadcast in Punjabi. And this year, at the annual Vaisakhi game for the Toronto Raptors, four good looking Sardars sang the Canadian and American national anthems. Performing on drums is Jiwanjot Singh Gill, on dilruba Harman Singh, on dhol is “Tabla Guy“, Gurpreet Singh Chana, and on vocals and harmonium, Dr. Onkar Singh.
Updated: Friday, at 11:30PM
Last year we covered the story of a Sikh youth accused of brandishing his kirpan on the schoolyard. Accounts of the incident were hugely divergent; it was unclear whether an assault had ever actually occurred, or whether the report was a feature of animosity toward religious minorities in Quebec.
Yesterday that youth was fully acquitted of the kirpan-based charge, and his other possible charges were dispensed. The outcome of this case is a success for the youth involved, but also in that its outcome has no bearing on the interpretation or application of its effect to the kirpan in general. The judge in this case intimated that the case had gone too far and would never have been brought, were it not for the youth’s nationality and religious identity:
UPDATE: The 13-year old youth who was arrested that night has been charged with assault and is scheduled to appear in court on May 19. [source] Thanks to everyone who’s given more information in the comments!
———————————————————————————————————————————–
Some tragic news is coming out of Toronto tonight from the Dixie gurdwara’s Vaisakhi celebrations. 
A Mississauga teen was stabbed in the stomach and seriously injured Tuesday night during a [Vaisakhi] celebration at the Ontario Khalsa Darbar temple in Mississauga.
The 15-year-old male was taken to the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto after the stabbing at around 10 p.m. in a kitchen in the temple’s basement. The victim was conscious and breathing, a Peel police officer said at the scene, and was believed to be in serious but not life-threatening condition.
Peel police arrested a teenager at the scene who is about the same age as the victim.
The stabbing happened during Vaisaki, an annual religious festival marking the start of the new solar years that, throughout the day, draws about 30,000 people to the temple, also known as Dixie Gurdwara. [link]
An equally young suspect is in custody, though no information about motive has been released yet. If any readers in Toronto can update us, your southern neighbors would really appreciate it.
A suspect, about the same age as the victim, is in police custody. Police say the knife used in the stabbing may have been set out with some food. [link]
I’ll refrain from speculating about possible motives since there is so little information to go on right now. What I can say at this point, regardless of the back story, is that there is no acceptable justification for this senseless act of violence.
I’ll update this entry as more information is released though. Our thoughts are with the young victim, his family, and Toronto’s sangat.
Tajinder (foreground) and Shalinder (background) Bansra.
Shalinder Kaur Basran is one of 19 recipients of the Carnegie Medal for heroism for intervening in a murderous domestic violence altercation in which a husband stabbed his wife. At the time, it was one of three cases in which desi-Canadian women had been killed by their families.
When Bibi Shalinder and her daughter heard a fight escalating downstairs, accompanied with cries for help, they ran downstairs where they found Jatinder Waraich had stabbed his wife, Navreet. She lay bleeding on the floor, crying for help. When he advanced on her, again, Bibi Shalinder forcibly removed him (while he held his knife) from the apartment while her daughter called 911. While police arrested Jatinder, his wife, unfortunately, did not survive his attack.
Reading about this award was really bittersweet for me. On one hand, I think interjecting yourself in the heat of a fight — with someone who’s already been acting crazy and is actively wielding a weapon — requires tremendous courage and strength. On the other hand, the underlying story of domestic violence and murder is heart-breaking. It made me wonder if others would have rushed to assist Navreet Waraich, or if they would have ignored it, assuming it was a domestic disagreement.
Canada’s problem with its Sikh minority should be of concern to Americans not just because Vancouver borders on the US, but for the broader lessons this story of ethnic conflict teaches. When a country imports an alien population, it often brings in all of the conflicts that bedeviled the immigrants in their homelands. Consequently, Western nations can get dragged into intractable conflicts that would otherwise be none of their business. Moreover, differences between the immigrant and host populations are likely to prove disruptive, even disastrous. Differences in history and culture pose difficulties enough, but most divisive are differences in nature. As long as we continue to ignore the possibility that there are biological differences among races that cause them to create different types of societies, we run the risk of importing populations that are prone to poverty and crime and hostile to white people and their values.
One could almost pity the plight of white supremacists these days. Their political influence has diminished greatly and their numbers are dwindling. A black man is the most powerful person in the world. Fearing public ostracization, they constantly have to ensure their words never betray their thoughts. In 2009, being a racist just isn’t cool anymore. But that hasn’t stopped this vocal minority from trying their best.
“White Pride” sites on the internet are full of rants against various ethnic and racial communities, blaming them for everything wrong with the world’s economic, social and political woes. Usually, its African Americans, Hispanics or Jews that are targeted. Now it looks like the Sikhs have caught their attention.
If Baldev Mutta’s cellphone rings in the middle of a meeting, he picks it up. If it beeps over dinnertime or at midnight, he answers it. And if he has to go out to pick up a woman and find her a spot at a shelter at 3 a.m., he will do it. “It can mean the difference between life and death for a woman,” said Mutta, executive director of Punjabi Community Health Services in Brampton. “They are abused and don’t have anywhere else to go. This agency is their lifeline.” [link]
The Punjabi Community Health Services is an organization based in Brampton, Canada which provides various services to Punjabi women who have been abused. Instead of waiting for women to turn up at their doorstep, this organization takes a proactive approach by sending workers into the community to speak with abused women. They visit Gurdwaras and community centers to find women in distress. At times they must speak with the women secretly at doctor’s appointments, grocery stores, even parking lots, so their families don’t find out.
::
In related news, I recently read an article about the “Gulabi Gang” in an issue of Marie Claire which appeared on New America Media yesterday aswell. The Gulabi Gang are a group of women in India who have come together to fight against abuse. When local officials refused to take action against an alleged rapist, scores of pink-sari-clad women stormed the police station, demanding action - and thus, became know as the Gulabi Gang. For example, when Sampat Pal Devi learned that a friend had been beaten by her alcoholic husband and that the local police, chronically indifferent to violence against women, had looked the other way, something inside her snapped. In an effort to fight back, she gathered dozens of her female neighbors, armed them with sticks, and taught them how to fight back. Together, the self-declared Gulabi Gang have beaten up accused rapists, profligate officials, and husbands who’ve abandoned their wives.
We’ve talked a little bit about the Sikh Youth Slate that ran for gurdwara elections — and won — in Surrey, as well as how mainstream Canadian media was framing the event. In that election, youth won the vote with a platform promising a focus on Sikhi, community-based service, and support for youth diversion activities (ie., building community space at the gurdwara so that adolescents didn’t get sucked into another world of criminal complexity).
What I didn’t know, at the time, was that shortly after the election, the outgoing gurdwara president filed a lawsuit challenging the process/legitimacy of the nominations for election (but not the election itself). A press release circulated today regarding the legal developments in the case, and as a non-Canadian, it is more than a little disorienting.
While many may still be reveling in Slumdog’s Sunday limelight, a darker movie about Indo-Canadians in Vancouver (the vast majority of who are Punjabi-Sikh), aiming to shed light on gang violence, is sparking criticism. [See trailer here.]
The film titled “A Warrior’s Religion” was made by Mani Amar, who describes it as a poetic documentary. When asked about what drove him to make the film, he said:
“It had to be done. How many more people need to die? We are past the 130 mark of deaths in our community. The issue is not slowing down … How readily we have accepted gang violence and how engrossed we are in it is what propelled me to do it. We are so relaxed about an issue that we should not be relaxed about at all.” [link]
In the film, Mani interviews Bal Buttar, a high-profile former gang member who is now blind and a quadriplegic after being shot in a gang related incident.
Mani said: “When I met Buttar, I laid it out on the table directly to him and said to Buttar, “I don’t respect you. You have an opportunity in your life to show youth that this is what gang violence will bring you.” For whatever reason, Buttar accepted the challenge. In the end though, I reaffirmed that it’s only death or jail to get out.” For Mani, what resonated most from the interviews was Buttar’s way of explaining karma: “You take blood. That blood gets taken from you.” [link]
Controversy has arisen from the film’s name, “A Warrior’s Religion,” and its use of visual references to Sikhism through images of gurdwaras, scenes from a Vaisaikhi parade, martyrs, and an image of a khanda in flames with bullet holes in the background. Mani explains how he chose the name:
Last year we heard the story of Lakhwinder Kahlon, a Delta, B.C. man who had been arrested for the murder of his two-year-old daughter, Rajwinder. This past week, Lakhwinder received an automatic life term when he pleaded guilty to second-degree murder. The father, who admitted to strangling and decapitating his daughter, will have to spend 11 years in jail before he can apply for parole. A few days ago, the judge released the 911 call of Lakhwinder admitting to the horrific act. The call is chilling - Lakhwinder tells the operator that he killed his daughter by cutting her neck, that he is depressed, and that the police should come and arrest him.
While it is hard to come up with any explanation to describe why Lakhwinder murdered his daughter, several suggestions were made. In an immediate reaction to hearing the news, there was speculation that Lakhwinder was upset that he only had daughters. This suggestion was vehemently denied by Lakhwinder’s wife and the community was quick to denounce female inequality.
Outrage and sorrow have poured out in radio talk shows and letters to newspapers, including one from Tara Diakow of Richmond, B.C., who wrote: “Who will battle against the ugly stereotype that Rajvinder Kahlon’s death has unfortunately brought to many people’s minds - the seemingly disposable position of Indo-Canadian women?” In a forceful statement on Monday, Liberal MP Ujjal Dosanjh used the case to denounce the practice of aborting female fetuses, which he says continues to take place in Canadian families. [link]
Pawandeep holds a framed photo of her sister. In the photo, Amandeep is wearing a pink salwar-kameez, a Punjabi dress. “She dreamed of a better life for herself and her family. All she wanted was to live happily with her husband and son like any other woman.”
I don’t even know where to begin with this story. The grisly facts of Amandeep Kaur Dhillon’s murder and her father-in-law’s arrest have been covered before, but this weekend, the Toronto Star’s Raveena Aulakh wrote a detailed story. You can read the full article here and it will break your heart, not just because of Amandeep Kaur’s tragic story, but because her story is all too common in our community.
Baldev Mutta knows the stories of immigrant women all too well.
The executive director of the Punjabi Community Health Centre in Brampton says hundreds of young Punjabi brides arrive in Canada every year. Many have arranged marriages. “They don’t know anyone, don’t have any support system and battle pressures most people can’t even imagine exist,” he said.
In the Punjabi culture, men are raised to be dominant while women are expected to be subservient. “The level of thinking of men in the Punjabi community leaves a lot to be desired,” said Mutta, a Punjabi himself. Mutta, who runs programs at four Sikh temples in Brampton, Rexdale, Malton and Oakville, and hosts a radio show, wishes he had been able to reach Amandeep.
Some women are so isolated that they are not allowed to have any communication even with their parents, said Kripa Sekhar, executive director of the South Asian Women’s Centre on Lansdowne Ave. in Toronto. “There are times when we get emails or phone calls from a woman’s family saying they haven’t heard from her ever since she came to Canada, can we check on her,” says Sekhar.In some cases women, bruised and beaten, have been locked up in their homes, not allowed to make or receive any calls. “It’s a problem women face everywhere, but what is unique among South Asians is that we don’t acknowledge it or want to talk about it.”
We can deny it all we want but here’s the sad reality for many (not all) Punjabi families:
(more…)
Just when you think that everything is hunky-dory for Sikhs in Canada, you hear of an incident like this that makes your cringe. Here’s a first-hand account of an incident that took place at the Toronto Raptors game last Friday night.
My brother, Gagandeep Singh Saluja and I, Simran Kaur Saluja attended a Raptors game at the Air Canada Centre on the night of Friday, January 30, 2009. I witnessed something which disturbed me tremendously. After a great night of getting two of the Raptors’ players to sign our jerseys and getting Jermaine O’Neal’s wristband, my brother and I make our way out to see the post-game show.
He tells me he has to use the washroom. Entering a public washroom is not unlawful in any way. I witnessed many people entering and exiting the same washroom my brother wished to use. A security guard approached my brother, out of all people as he is a visible minority that stands out. The security guard told my brother to get out. For what reason? Well, let me describe my brother to you all. He is a third-year student studying Business Management at UTSC and a proud Sikh youth who wears his turban with pride and joy…A huge Raptors’ fan as well. Gagan asks him “for what” while he tries to make his way to a stall and the security guard starts pushing him and saying “You don’t want to start with me!” He then calls back-up. Gagan finds himself with 4 to 5 security guards on him trying to kick him out. Police officers get involved during this time and start tackling him.
I sensed something wrong while I was standing outside watching the post-game show. I was hesitant in terms of if I should check on my brother in the washroom but I thought it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to do that. I decided to wait for him as I thought that the security guard had let him use the washroom. I wait for about 10 minutes for my brother…I was getting a bit edgy and started looking around for him. I had not seen anything.
Later, the security guard is out of breath and sweaty and attends to the location where I had seen him prior to the whole washroom catastrophe. I ask him “Aren’t you the one who was in the washroom?” He said “yeah.” He knew that I was there waiting for Gagan and after another 10 minutes he tells me, “You might want to make your way out as to whoever you were with is being arrested.” I race outside to find my brother without his turban on, in pain and suffering. When I saw his face…I don’t know how to explain such regret. I keep thinking to myself ‘had I gone into the washroom?! Maybe, just maybe they would not have used such force against him.’ I love my brother a whole lot and I never want to see him hurt. This whole ordeal that happened in Toronto, Canada out of all places is just sad.
Today’s Toronto Star has another article on the sad but all too frequent cases of immigration fraud. In this case, a Sikh family was swindled out of tens of thousands of dollars but a crook that promised the son a $450 a week job as a cook in a Toronto hotel.
One morning in February 2007, Harvinder Singh read an ad in a local newspaper that promised to change his life.
The ad offered a visa to Canada and a $450-a-week job as a kitchen helper at a Crowne Plaza hotel in Toronto. Singh answered the ad, and agreed to pay an immigration consultant a $12,500 advance and an equal amount when his immigration documents were prepared.
Today, however, Singh, 31, is still working for his father in this blue-collar city in the northern Punjab region, manning the family photo shop and tending 1.2 hectares of wheat fields on the outskirts of town.
Police say the rise of unregulated immigration consultants is the most troubling crime trend in the state, ahead of a burgeoning drug problem and sectarian violence.
The details of the case are absurd enough to make one laugh if it wasn’t so tragic.
A Sikh gentleman has been involved in a Ontario Human Rights Tribunal matter relating to alleged discrimination against him for wearing a turban at work.
The case centers around treatment that this gentleman received at the hands of a Home Depot employee while posted by a third party security company to provide security detail for a Home Depot construction site. What is particularly disturbing about the allegations are the allegations of racial bias as the employee is alleged to have refused entry to Mr. Deepinder Singh Loomba but also to have stated that he had been successful in the past in not allowing any turbaned persons to work at his site.
Mr. Loomba is a well educated professional who has worked with international companies in other countries and had recently immigrated to Canada, working in security while he was getting settled here. He has decided to take up this case on account of what he saw as a racial bias and a refusal by a large retailer like Home Depot to recognize and deal with the bias. Mr. Loomba has been supported by the Ontario Gurudwara Committee and now needs your moral support.
After over a year of legal haggling he has his day in court and will be in hearings today and tomorrow at the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario (located at 655 Bay St., 14th Floor, Toronto). The hearings started on Monday and will continue until Wednesday (three days) from 9.30 to 4:30 each day and are open to the public. Moral support and awareness would be appreciated - all the press we can get would also help to put some pressure on Home Depot to do the right thing.
All along Mr. Loomba has insisted that this outcome include an apology to the community and an acknowledgment by Home Depot that they need to implement more racial awareness and sensitivity training in the company. He has stuck this out for the good of the community and it would be great if people could show support and help him out at this crucial time in his case”
