E-Mail: jesuisdot@thelangarhall.com
Web Page: http://thelangarhall.com
Registered Since: 2007-12-14 06:07:04
Profile:
Posts by JeSuisDot:
- See truth with your eyes
- Serve and respect your parents
- Forever remember death
- Believe in one God
- Gurbani is the Guru
- Eat, Sleep and Talk little
- Accept Nam as true religion
- Do not be greedy
- Do not be proud
- Do not be jealous
- Do not get attached to the world
- Do not associate with manmukhs
- Do not steal or gamble
- Do not see bad in others
- Do not slander anyone
The Forgotten French?
March 5th, 2008
Just like Hurricane Katrina is no longer the hot topic at the dinner table for Americans it seems that the French Sikhs have been forgotten for the Sikhs. I will state the obvious that there are formal organizations that are supporting these Sikhs in their fight for the right to wear their turbans; however is the “issue” getting the widespread spotlight it did for a brief moment when the ban was first put in place? There is sympathy on a global perspective of the rights of the French Sikhs being violated; however I am more concerned with the affects on their day to day lives. How many Sikh boys are still not in school - or is this even the case? What about those that can’t get driver’s licenses or ID’s. Are there children that have been out of school for an extended period of time - are they now working? What about their futures? I can only speak for myself and those around me - our conversations, and concern is for the most part only around issues that have a direct impact on our lives. The latest TSA regulations are always of concern and something to gripe about - but how much do they really infringe on our lives? Are our futures limited by TSA regulations? Dare I say we are a selfish bunch that can’t look beyond our own backyards?
Domestic Abuse
February 6th, 2008I will happily admit I am an Opraholic. In the years of watching Oprah she always does episodes on domestic abuse. I remember where a man had video taped the abuse of his wife. I don’t remember the details or the name of the victim - but I remember her tears, and the visuals of her husband hitting her and verbally abusing her. I can vividly remember her face and his and in a matter of seconds I am nauseous, angry and frustrated.
I felt the same way when I read this article . Why do we hear this so often? Brutal murders of wives by their husbands. What disturbed me even further was that the family was completely shocked that this happened. In no way or form do I pass any blame on the family - but I feel that as a community our awareness of domestic abuse is so limited that we wouldn’t even be able to recognize the signs if they were in front of us.
Where does the solution start? At the Gurdwara? At the family level? How do provide resources not only to victims but their families as well?
Consciousness
January 24th, 2008
W.E.B. Du Bois’ concept of Double Consciousness is used to describe an individual whose identity is divided into several facets. I recently read a Mexican-American’s short autobiography on his own Quadruple Consciousness and to say I related to it would be an understatement. The writer has very distinct fragments of his consciousness that I personally am not able to define as of yet. But I can feel the internal struggle between the three, four, five however many there are.
I don’t want to rant on about the craziness that is in my head, but am curious as to what readers out there are experiencing. How many different “selfs” do each of you have? Does your gender play a role? Your family background? Your class? Your own religiosity?
A list of do’s and don’ts?
January 9th, 2008Initially I was going to post about self-loathing and its role in gurbani….so I went to trusty old sikhitothemax.com. I accidentally hit “search” without typing anything in the search box. Up came this list of “Sikhi favorites” on the left pane. At first I started clicking on what peaked my interest. Here’s just a few of them:
Then it got into the “Do Not’s”
I’m not even going to pretend that I know gurbani, or that I can translate it, or that I can remember shabads or anything of that nature. But I am fairly confident that SGGS is not a list of “Do Not’s”. Now, being someone that considers myself a sikh (whatever that means…) I tend to discuss the openness and the LOVE and I repeat LOVE that Sikhi focuses on. In my limited research into gurbani and the meaning of it, I have rarely seen such blatant instruction as to what we should or should not do. I understand that this may be a result of the translation over to English. But it still doesn’t sit right with me. Descriptions/translations I have seen of “vices” or “bad things” have always discussed the action and then the consequence, or the individuals that have these characteristics.
I know Sikhi is often presented as a list of Do’s and Dont’s; that’s how it was presented to me anyways. How can that possibly be encouraging? Someone that is questioning their Sikhi - how would they see this list? Would it perhaps just further deter them from experience the immense resource that the SGGS is? Is this a correct reflection of Gurbani?
All you need is love?
December 19th, 2007I always get asked about how my spouse and I met; those that are aware of Desis and the “arranged marriage” are always curious as to whether my marriage was in fact arranged. My first thought– how do you define arranged? We were introduced, by mutual acquaintances. The introduction – was under the pretenses of marriage. So essentially our first conversation was: “I want x number of children, and I am x feet tall, and I have the following expectations of a spouse”. I’M KIDDING!
I digress…
Our parents were involved, they spoke before we spoke, but that was the end of their role. Our conversations, and relationship progressed in an organic, albeit SUPER SPEED way. My response to the question is always vague, full of “ums” and quite honestly, it changes every time I am asked the question.
So this past weekend, when a coworker asked me if my marriage was arranged, I gave my usual: “Not really. Um, we were introduced. Our parents were involved. But the decision was ours. etc etc”
Usually I get a smile, and a “oh that’s cool”. This time: “I’m actually pro-arranged marriage”.
SAY WHAT?
You, the very liberal, forward thinking, all things unconventional co-worker – are PRO the arrangement of marriage?!
Disbelief, relief, confusion. A few things I felt.
Our discussion became increasingly interesting at this junction. Let’s call my co-worker “Yogi” – as in one who practices/teaches Yoga, not the bear.
Yogi, having traveled to exotic India, being aware of different cultures (yet extremely American) and has been in a committed relationship for the last 15 years, claimed that love has very little to do with a successful marriage.
BUT THE BEATLES SAID ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!
According to Yogi (and maybe even BooBoo), it doesn’t matter who one marries, as long as both parties want to be part of an open, communicative and authentic relationship, a marriage will work. Love is a romanticized notion that sets up false expectations.
Um why does Yogi all of a sudden sound like my dad?
We got into a fairly lengthy and personal conversation and it still has me thinking. What is making my marriage work? What will guarantee it will continue to work?
Obviously there are examples of toxic relationships in both the “arranged” and “love” world. But what is the common denominator?
Does this imply that you don’t in fact “need time to get to know the person” before marrying them? Where do values, habits, likes and dislikes come to play? Is it an over-generalization? Easier said than done?
Or does it hold some truth….
